My engaged sister isn’t coming to Thanksgiving so I invited her ex instead, I don’t see the issue but she’s super mad
A THANKSGIVING host has divided opinions after revealing he invited his sister’s ex-boyfriend to their family dinner.
He explained that his sister won’t be joining the festivities as she and her fiance already have plans to see the Macy’s parade in New York.
The man penned a lengthy post on Reddit revealing his sister is excited about her upcoming trip which she believes will be “so much nicer than just sitting at a table.”
He revealed he has remained “good friends” with her ex-boyfriend and their entire family “loves” him too.
The man said he invited him to dinner so that he wouldn’t have to spend Thanksgiving alone.
However, his sister has raged fury about her former flame attending and now wants all contact to be stopped.
“I invited him to come over and have Thanksgiving with our whole family,” the man explained.
“He agreed and everyone thought it would be fine since my sister wouldn’t be there.
“When my sister found out I invited him she went off the rails and was completely irate.
“Not only did she tell me I had no right to invite him but that she didn’t even want me hanging out with him anymore.”
The man admitted he was surprised by his sister’s reaction as the relationship with her ex-boyfriend ended on good terms after mutually deciding they weren’t compatible anymore.
He said his sister wants him to prioritize building a friendship with her fiance instead of holding onto the past.
“I have nothing in common with her fiance,” he continued. “He’s the geeky type.
“And that’s fine but hanging out with him would just be awkward. I go to the gym and golf with her former boyfriend a lot. We just have a lot more in common.
“So anyway, I told her I wasn’t uninviting him and that I wouldn’t be cutting him out of my life either.
“She told me I had ruined her Thanksgiving. I told her to wave to Snoopy for me.”
The man asked members of the Am I The A**hole forum if his reaction had been unreasonable.
Many people blasted him for not considering his sister’s opinion before inviting her ex-boyfriend and said the friendship was “highly inappropriate.”
One person wrote: “This is so weird.
“I don’t know if this is a cultural thing but when any relationship ends, it should also end any and all communication and contact with the family by default too especially in an intimate sense.
“You were not friends with this person before he started dating your sister.
“It’s absolutely weird you think you can give her ‘spot at the table’ to a man she has moved on from when she isn’t there.
“Her fiance will also read into this too as you are saying that he’s always going to come second.
“Your family liking him and you being friends with him are, and should be treated with secondary importance to the fact that your sister who introduced you to him doesn’t want him there.
“It’s her family and her family’s house/home first. You are related to her. You need to prioritize her.
“There’s always going to be a hierarchical structure in relationships, your sister and her fiance come above her ex.
“ESPECIALLY cause you said the relationship was amicable and there was no bad blood. Don’t make the end of the relationship messy now.”
Another said: “I get it that you’re still friends with him on the basis that it was a clean breakup. But did it ever cross your mind to ask your sister if she minded?
“It sounds like to me that you knew it would be an awkward situation for everyone, especially her fiancé.
“And knowing that your sister would get upset (which I understand why because damn), you knowingly put the risk of making it unpleasant. It sounds like you didn’t think this through.
“You either A) want to start drama or B) just don’t give a flying f**k about your sister.”
However, others defended the man and accused his sister of overreacting.
One commented: “Your sister does not control who you can and cannot spend time with.
“She is ENGAGED to another man now. The rest of the family is ok with it.
“Your sister needs to figure out WHY the thought of the man she used to date spending a holiday with her family when she won’t be there is so upsetting that it will ruin her Thanksgiving.”
A second chimed in: “I think it’s pretty crappy to expect family to give up friendships with an ex just because you break up if they’ve done nothing wrong that is.
“Why does she even care it isn’t like she’s going to be there and have to see him.
“Her reaction says to me that either something happened that none of you know about or she’s just overreacting.”
A third added: “NAH you would be the AH [a**hole] if she was coming to Thanksgiving too but if she’s not even going to be there.
“They ended amicably, he gets along well with the whole family, there are other guests who aren’t family members and he has nowhere else to go then you’re fine and she’s overreacting.
“However, it does sound like you need to put a bit more effort in with her new partner.
“I can imagine he feels incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation.
“You don’t have to have everything in common to get along with someone and make them feel welcome.”