Harriette Cole: She’s the restaurant patron from hell, and she needs to hear that

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a dilemma with my best friend. Lately, I’ve been embarrassed by her increasingly rude behavior toward service workers.

We recently went to a restaurant, and she was unbelievably disrespectful. She ordered her food, and when it came, she kept asking where her smoothie was. They said it should be on the way, but it wasn’t because she never actually ordered it. She kept badgering the staff about it and eventually got the free smoothie she was angling for.

Also, she went up to the line cook who made her burger and said that there wasn’t enough sauce on it. I didn’t hear the full exchange, but by the way he recoiled from her when he handed back her food, I could tell it wasn’t a good one.

I’ve tried addressing it subtly, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. How do I approach this situation without damaging the friendship, yet communicate how her behavior is affecting me?

— Rude Friend

DEAR RUDE FRIEND: Who says you have to be subtle?

Your friend has proven that subtlety doesn’t work for her. She needs you to be direct and illustrative.

Tell her you need to talk to her about something that is bothering you. When you are together, describe how she has behaved with you out in public recently and how you feel about it. Make her understand what you observed about how her behavior impacted the service workers around her and how inappropriate you believe her actions and words were. Let her know she has been behaving in a rude and dismissive manner, and you need her to stop.

If she is mad at you for a while, so be it. Friends have to stand up for what’s right — even if the cost is temporary disconnection.

DEAR HARRIETTE: With the holiday season around the corner, I’m concerned about my sweet tooth and poor eating habits.

How can I strike a balance between enjoying holiday comfort food and maintaining my healthy eating habits consistently?

What strategies can help me stay on track without feeling deprived during this time?

— Sweet Tooth

DEAR SWEET TOOTH: Here’s your chance to practice discipline. Easy? No, but absolutely necessary.

Make a plan before you head out each day. Decide that you will enjoy one special snack per day. With that in mind, you can map out all the places you plan to visit.

Think in advance about who has the best treats. Then wait to enjoy one amazing snack when you visit that person. If you plan on purchasing sweets, buy one item. Do not purchase a tray of cookies or a whole cake. Instead, buy a slice of cake or pie, or a single cookie.

It takes time to develop the ability to eat just one special treat, but if you put your mind to it, you can succeed.

Remember also to drink lots of water so that you keep your body hydrated. You can also look up recipes for healthy versions of traditional comfort foods to try.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.