2023 holiday movies: Here are 6 releases you can watch now — from a slasher flick to a beloved fairy tale
The holidays always generate some interesting seasonal offerings, and this year is no different. Here are six releases you can watch now, including Eli Roth’s off-the-wall (in a good way) “Thanksgiving.”
Dig in, folks.
“Thanksgiving”: Here’s a reason to be grateful: Eli Roth downplays the torture to create a campy and scary horror offering that’s a bloody good time. Roth is in a skewering mood and sharpens his knives and stabs at consumerism. A horrific melee at a Plymouth Rock megastore triggers a pilgrim-masked killer to go on his own spree a year later, picking off the bozos in the store who were caught on a since-vanished tape. A gallery of attractive suspects is on the chopping block with even People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive — Patrick Dempsey — getting caught up in a blood-drenched parade. It’s easily one of Roth’s best horror banquets — gory, ridiculous and over the top. I might even head back for seconds. Details: 3 stars; now in theaters.
“Dashing Through the Snow”: Atlanta social worker Eddie (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) wants nothing to do with Christmas but when he sees Nick (Lil Rel Howery) stuck in a chimney, he slowly begins to wonder if this whole Santa thing might be real. Director Tim Story and screenwriter Scott Rosenberg keep this one peppy and fun throughout, but it is the pairing of Howery — hilarious as a chipper but possibly delusional Santa — and Bridges as a griping holiday naysayer that really make it jingle all the way. Details: 3 stars, now on Disney +.
“Genie”: Although you wish it wouldn’t have tripped over its own set of rules near the finale, this sweetheart of a remake of rom-com expert Richard Curtis’s screenplay for the 1991 British television film “Bernard and the Genie” works because of Paapa Essiedu’s endearing performance. He plays workaholic New York antiques dealer Bernard Bottle, who unleashes a goofball genie (Melissa McCarthy, working her magic). The duo try to repair Bernard’s disintegrating marriage to Julie (Denée Benton), but will it do the trick? Alan Cumming brings the right touch as Bernard’s awful and vain boss, but this is Essiedu’s opportunity to shine, and does he ever take full advantage of it. Details: 3 stars; streaming on Peacock.
“The Naughty Nine”: In this clever, sugary confection, a group of conniving 5th-graders stuck on Santa’s naughty list team up to pull off an “Ocean’s 11”-like heist at the North Pole so they can nab their asked-for, now shelved, gifts. Director Alberto Belli’s film features consistently energetic performances by its young cast, offering a families a gift that won’t wear out its welcome in years to come. Details: 3 stars; available on Disney Channel and Disney+.
“The Velveteen Rabbit”: In this reverential and tender, if sometimes overly stiff, adaptation of the classic Margery Williams fable, lonely 7-year-old William (Phoenix Laroche) connects with a stuffed rabbit who wishes to be real, not a toy. Told in a brisk 40 minutes, this “Rabbit” sprinkles in some animation and works its gentle magic, even if it never quite approaches the emotional breadth of its source material. Details: 2½ stars; available on Apple TV+.
“Best. Christmas. Ever.”: More of a holiday concept than legit film, Netflix’s flimsy and phony offering flounders around and strands Heather Graham and pop singer/actor Brandy Norwood, not to mention Jason Biggs and Matt Cedeno, in the cinematic equivalent of a lump of coal about a jealous Charlotte (Graham) trying to get some dirt about her old friend Jackie (Norwood) who annually sends out annoyingly accomplished Christmas holiday letters. Director Mary Lambert fared much better with “A Castle for Christmas.” Details: 1½ stars; now on Netflix.
Contact Randy Myers at soitsrandy@gmail.com.