Jason Donovan ‘proposed’ to me despite being married – people brand me a stalker but I prefer label ‘dedicated’ superfan
WITH a shaky hand, Emma Charlesworth reached out to accept the note.
There, handwritten on the front of a concert programme, were the words she had been longing to hear since she was seven — “Emma, Marry me”.
She looked up, tears in her eyes and there he was, her true love since childhood — pop icon Jason Donovan.
Emma, 42, could barely breathe with excitement until she was snapped from her reverie by the next impatient fan in line at the meet-and-greet.
It turns out Emma’s sister Amy, having met Jason earlier in the queue, had filled him in on Emma’s childhood pledge to marry him.
And Jason, 55, was more than happy to play along for a laugh.
That day in October, 2021, was one of the best of Emma’s life.
“That proposal is framed and hangs in pride of place in my office,” she now says proudly.
For Emma, a widowed mum of one, her obsession with her childhood crush has seen her travel all over the country, spending thousands on merchandise and tickets, and it has even led to her exchanging friendly messages with Jason’s wife, Angela.
“People think I’m a bit of a stalker, but I prefer the word ‘dedicated’,” says Emma, who lives in Kent and works in marketing.
“I was a huge fan of Neighbours and with Jason’s blond hair and blue eyes, I totally bought into the boy-next-door look.
“I swore blind I’d marry him. Thirty five years later and I’m still as obsessed.
“I queued for almost four hours a few weeks back to see him play at Butlin’s, where he came out wearing leather. I almost fainted.
“I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve met him and I’ve seen him perform live over 60 times.”
But while a teenage Emma would once have relied on weekly pop mags or fan club newsletters for updates on her idol, social media means she can now keep tabs on her hero’s every move 24/7.
She was delighted to read last week that the singer had announced his Doin’ Fine 25 tour celebrating his career.
Social media and the success of the comeback — which has seen bands such as Take That, Busted, S Club and Girls Aloud reform — is enabling superfans like Emma to tap into their adolescent obsessions whenever they like.
And, according to psychologist Louise Goddard-Crawley, it’s providing older pop fans with a much-needed “sense of identity and belonging”.
She says: “For women in their forties, actively engaging with the fan community online allows them to bond with like-minded individuals who share similar memories and sentiments.
“For a lot of these women, artists of the Eighties and Nineties hold a special place in their hearts, representing a time of self-discovery and youthful exuberance.
‘Connecting with like-minded people has been incredible’
“The attachment formed during adolescence often persists into adulthood, fuelled by a desire to reconnect with the joy and innocence of that bygone era.”
For Emma, who is mum to 13-year-old Rebekah, this social media connection provided a much-needed lifeline after her husband, Charlie, died of Covid in April 2020.
“I’d often tweet Jason and when my husband passed away, he sent a message to tell me he and his family were thinking of me,” she says.
“For him to do that in the midst of that awful time, it was the only ray of light I remember.”
Emma tweeted back and also messaged Jason’s wife Angela. “I thanked her for thinking of me after Charlie’s death.
“We’ve swapped some messages since and we will occasionally respond to each other’s photos on Instagram. I sometimes wonder how she puts up with us all fawning over her husband, but she does so with such good grace.”
By “us all”, Emma is referring to the Jason fans across the world who have become her friends thanks to social media and through her blog, Life Is A Rollercoaster, about her escapades as a widowed Jason fanatic.
“Connecting with like-minded people has been incredible and cathartic,” she says.
“We could spend hours talking about Jason, or arranging to go to shows.
“I think the advent of X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram has enhanced this love affair.”
One person who understands Emma’s obsession is A-ha superfan Emily Cleary.
Her passion for the Norwegian band, most famous for 1985 hit Take On Me, also began when she was a little girl.
“If I hear the opening bars to that song, wherever I am, I feel happy,” says Emily, 45, from Gerrards Cross, Bucks.
“It takes me straight back to a time of joy and innocence. I’m married with children now but the band is my spiritual home.”
The writer — whose husband Jamie, 47, works in construction — even jokes that her ten-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter understand lead singer Morten Harket — in the band with Magne Furuholmen and Paul Waaktaar-Savoy — is Mummy’s big love.
“They’re fully aware that Mummy loves Morten and if she ever gets the chance she is going to marry him and they’ll have to find a new mummy,” she laughs.
“My husband isn’t the jealous type, but we have definitely had rows over the band.
“He’ll describe them as one-hit wonders, which infuriates me. I’ve even stopped speaking to him before as a result.”
The first time Emily ever left her children, then aged three and 18 months, was to go to Norway for a freelance job.
“I was so upset about leaving the kids I had to take a sedative on the plane, but the lure of Norway was too strong,” she says. “A-ha weren’t even there, but being in their homeland made me feel closer to them.”
Emily has seen the band a dozen times, spent “thousands” on merchandise, and met them twice.
‘Being a teenage fan was one of happiest times of my life’
“Meeting Morten for the first time was the best day of my life, over and above my kids’ births or my wedding day,” she says proudly.
The second time didn’t go so well as I drank too much through nerves and asked him to marry me in front of my future mother-in-law.
“She rolled her eyes. I should be ashamed of it, but I’m really not. The band still makes me so happy.
“I follow them on Instagram and Facebook as I love keeping up with their lives.”
Psychologist Louise argues that attachments to bands for youth also offers relief from the stress and responsibilities of adult life.
She says: “Fandom can serve as a form of escapism, providing a lighthearted distraction from daily challenges. For a lot of older women it’s a way of holding on to a part of their past that brought them happiness and a sense of identity.”
Sarah Cummins, 40, can relate to this. She is huge fan of now-defunct band Boyzone.
She says: “I while away hours talking about them on one of the many Facebook fan groups I’m in. And even though they’re not together any more, I still wear their tour T-shirts and hoodies every day.
“I carry my fan club membership card, which I’ve had since 1998, in my purse. I have framed posters on my wall and a tattoo on my lower back dedicated to my favourite member Stephen Gately.
“Being a fan as a teenager was one of the happiest times of my life, and I never really wanted to grow out of that.”
Singer Stephen was 33 and still part of the band — which also included Ronan Keating, Keith Duffy, Michael Graham and Shane Lynch — when he died suddenly in 2009.
For Sarah, who first became a fan when she was 14, his loss hit hard.
“I’d never lost anyone at that point, not a family member or a friend,” she says. “Losing Stephen was an introduction to grief and it was awful. I was heartbroken.”
Sarah, from London, is proud of her fandom: “I went to 15 shows on their farewell tour in 2018 and over the years I’ve seen them well over 100 times.
“That includes all their solo shows too. I’ve spent thousands.”
And merch isn’t in small supply either. “I’ve got a Boyzone car number plate, Christmas baubles with their faces on, you name it, I have it,” says Sarah.
Her partner Paul, a 63-year-old builder, just rolls his eyes.
“He thinks I’m a nutter,” she says. “He’s not into it, but he would never stop me from obsessing about the boys.
“He couldn’t if he tried — no one could.”