Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Falling Short
If there’s one thing you can count on Kyle to do, it’s act like he deserves to be treated with the utmost respect while simultaneously making everyone in his vicinity feel like shit. However, the drama on Mustique finally isn’t completely revolving around Kyle this week, as we refreshingly shift to problems within the deck team (it was too good to be true) and with the new green fourth stew who continues to show no signs of improvement.
The episode picks up with Kyle and Jack’s argument at dinner, which carries over into their evening at the club. When Lily asks Jack again about the Kyle and Natalya situation, Jack states that Kyle is all drama but avoids going into detail. Naturally, Kyle feels the need to involve himself and starts yapping about how Jack has been against the interior “since the beginning” and that Lily shouldn’t let him separate her from the team. “Some people have a lot of growing up to do,” he adds. Yeah, YOU! He also makes it clear that if a person doesn’t “level up,” they’ll end up being an outcast, which raises a red flag for the newbie, and rightfully so. News flash, Kyle: Nobody is required to be on your side. Lily then goes to Tumi about how she was uncomfortable with how Kyle tried dragging her into drama she wants no part of. Look at Kyle already making a stew feel bad just a day after her arrival. He clearly hasn’t learned his lesson.
In the van ride back to the boat, Lily asks Max if he’ll stay in her cabin since Jessika and Luka are going to hook up in his room. Max is obviously thrilled and beaming at the suggestion, and soon enough they’re going from sleeping beside each other to fully making out while Jessika and Luka bang in the other cabin. Good for them!
In the morning, Lily wakes up extremely hungover and spends hours vomiting in the bathroom a total of ten times (according to a puke-count graphic). Everyone is getting work done while she’s in her cabin, sleeping and throwing up, which her team and Captain Sandy aren’t pleased with since it means she isn’t pulling her weight. This is strike one for Lily, who should probably learn to not get shitfaced on nights out. She eventually makes it out of her room and manages to get some tasks completed in between puke sessions, so baby steps.
Still bothered by the events of the previous night, Jack pulls Tumi for a chat to express his issue with Kyle’s blatant attempt at forcing his opinions on Lily while telling her to form her own in the same breath. Tumi agrees that Jack hasn’t done anything to turn people against Kyle and that she’s aware of his poor behavior (“I really can’t be handling men in their 30s”), but she desperately doesn’t want Kyle to leave since it would mean having one less experienced person on the boat. I understand the dilemma, but how many people need to call out Kyle’s toxicity until something is done about it? It’s getting out of hand.
At the preference sheet meeting, we learn that our next primary is Michael Owens, a dental-implant-company CEO who’s being joined by his wife and dentist friends. They want a 007 Casino Royale–themed dinner party for night one and a diving excursion, which is in Haleigh’s wheelhouse, as well as an opera singer to sing happy birthday. Tumi decides to hire some extra entertainment, and the provisioner finds her a mentalist even though it doesn’t really fit the theme. We also learn that Lara has a passion for opera, ignited by frequent listens to Phantom of the Opera as a child, and performs for the crew later in the evening. I don’t have any knowledge of what good opera singing sounds like, but I’m impressed.
During the interior meeting the next morning, Sandy interrupts Tumi’s encouraging speech for Lily to ask where her clothes are. Lily says that she finished cleaning them, but when Jess checks, she sees that they weren’t ironed. Tumi’s annoyed because Lily said she had completed the tasks when she hadn’t, as evidenced by the messy laundry room full of clothes that aren’t up to standards. Strike two! In a confessional, Lily shares that she feels like she can’t win since nobody realizes how little laundry experience she has since she didn’t do it on her past boats. Fine, but being able to do laundry is, like, a basic human necessity.
The guests arrive shortly after, and it’s immediately clear that they’re going to be a loud, obnoxious, and demanding group. They quickly make themselves comfortable and the drinks start flowing, while the guest named Amish throws random shit around the salon. As one guest warns Kyle, Amish is going to be a “handful.” Based on last week’s midseason preview, in which Sandy seemingly threatens to remove Amish from the boat if he continues acting poorly, it seems like things are only going to get worse next week.
Once the guests eat lunch — which Amish skips in favor of a nap — and use the water toys, it’s time for the diving excursion, meaning Haleigh is going to get more than five seconds of screen time. We had to celebrate! Haleigh shares that diving is what got her ocean and boat career started and that it’s where she truly excels, having logged 15,000 dives. I’m beyond thrilled that we get to see more of Haleigh in this episode because she’s pure joy. Protect her at all costs.
While the guests are off the boat, Luka lays in bed and texts Natalya that he misses her and has the feeling of not “realizing you lost something ‘til it’s gone.” Uhhh … what?? There’s no reason for him to be texting her after she iced him out, but then again, he’s just a horny little fuckboy. Usually crew members who leave midseason disappear forever, but Natalya is like a cockroach that won’t die. Poor Jessika, who’s expressed that her feelings for him are growing, is going to get her heart broken.
Elsewhere, Tumi and Lily decorate the dinner table and Tumi shows her how to fold napkins. Tumi spends this episode stressing the importance of Lily actually learning how to do her job, meaning she needs to train and groom her into a great fourth stew. Here’s hoping it works because they’re in deep waters if not. Afterward, another issue arises when Tumi asks Luka to pick the mentalist up from the dock, only to be told that the tender’s already been lifted back on the boat. Tumi believes it was Luka’s job to ask if she needed the tender, but I think this could’ve been avoided if Tumi had told him she was bringing an entertainer onboard prior to the charter. Lara’s justifiably annoyed at the lack of communication between the two department heads, and I agree. Petition for Lara to become bosun in a future season!
For the first time since Max’s laziness, it seems like cracks are starting to show on deck. It began with Sandy noticing the filthiness of the crew mess, which is the deck team’s job to clean. Then, in addition to the communication mishaps, Luka fails to create a proper schedule for the team and tells the deckies to go on break whenever necessary, which means there’s no organization whatsoever. Lara feels that as lead deckhand, she should bear the responsibility of adjusting her schedule and taking on a bigger workload in order for the rest of her team to rest. However, Luka doesn’t really make a plan to keep track of this type of stuff since he seems to just go with the flow of each day, which definitely isn’t going to work out.
Once the guests have fun with the mentalist (despite initially being confused about his presence) and sit down for their meal, Luka tells Lara to go on break at the same time that Max and Haleigh are also sleeping while he leaves the boat to take the mentalist back to shore. When Kyle radios for help several times and receives no response, Sandy is pissed and wakes Lara up since someone always needs to be on deck not only for safety reasons but to help out during dinner service. The moment Luka returns, she gives him an earful about her unhappiness with how the deck team is running and that he needs to figure it out ASAP. Luka has been a natural bosun thus far in terms of boat docking and such, but it’s becoming clear that he isn’t as great when it comes to handling the other responsibilities that come with the job. Is this the start of Luka’s downfall?