Edible Arrangements Drops Its Own Incest Ad

The holidays are just around the corner, and that means one thing: It’s Folgers incest-ad season. For 14 years now, the coffee company’s Christmas-themed spot has been the only one brave enough to ask, “Would you want to buy coffee if two siblings with insane sexual chemistry were selling it?” But this year, a challenger finally emerges. Edible — the artist formerly known as Edible Arrangements — has thrown its hat into the incestuous ring.

In the 30-second commercial, a man walks into the kitchen to tell his wife that their “family-history results” are in. His exciting discovery is that his great-great-grandfather came through Ellis Island. Hers too, and as they read the name … uh-oh, it’s the same guy. They immediately order a dessert tray, either to console themselves or celebrate, and just as they’re tucking into their treats, their kid calls out for Mom. Presumably, they will be ordering another Edible Arrangement when they tell their kid about their shared bloodline.

“Found out you’re related to your spouse?” the voice-over asks. “There’s an Edible for that.”

Honey, there is definitely an edible for that, but I don’t think it’s included on the Signature Dessert Board. These people found out they are third cousins (thank you to this cousin calculator for helping me figure that out), and their first instinct is to get chocolate-covered strawberries delivered to their door? Maybe call your moms first.

I wish I didn’t have opinions on this kind of thing, but Edible’s addition to the incest-commercial canon is just not up to snuff. The good people at Folgers can rest easy knowing the award for Best Ad Featuring Two Relatives With an Implicit or Explicit Romantic Connection remains theirs for the 14th year in a row. Congrats to the whole team!