Four Tricks for Getting Actually Decent Airplane Meals
Air travel remains the fastest and most efficient way to get anywhere—which is unfortunate, because the airlines continue to make the experience worse. Hidden fees, smaller seats, less leg room, annoying people, and baggage restrictions all conspire to make flying commercial an increasingly miserable experience. The decline of perks and service exacerbates this: Where once you actually got a free meal when you flew, these days you’re often lucky to have the opportunity to pay for a snack.
But the, maybe the lack of a meal isn’t so bad: Airplane food is notoriously terrible. There are reasons for that—the air pressure, low humidity, and noise inside the cabin robs our taste buds, and airplane food is typically prepared elsewhere and reheated on the plane, which is not an ideal scenario for great food. But if you plan to eat a meal on your next flight, you can up your game pretty significantly and better your chances of actually enjoying your food by using one of these four tips.
Instant upgrades
You can, of course, eat before you board, or bring food onto the plane. But if you don’t want to blow your budget on expensive airport fare, remember one thing: Flight attendants are generally happy to bring you hot water.
What does that mean? It means you can bring instant noodles or instant oatmeal and instantly have a much better meal option. Making instant noodles and then adding sauces or butter, plus the proteins, veggies, or other parts of your complimentary meal turns a dubious slab of microwaved ... stuff into a far more satisfying meal. Similarly, getting a fruit option as your meal and then mixing it into hot oatmeal will give you a filling, happy breakfast instead of a greasy, unfortunate one.
One caveat: The water on your plane may not be the cleanest in the world. If you’d never order coffee on a plane because you’re dubious about the water situation, skip this one—or add your own water first and ask if the ramen can be microwaved.
Go spicy & saucy
Because our taste buds are sandbagged on a plane, most of the meals we’re served will taste bland and probably overly salty (because they’re packed with preservatives, and because the airlines know how bland the food is). One way to improve your airline meal experience is to order the spiciest stuff you can spot. Sometimes your choices are limited, but most airlines make an effort to accommodate religious and dietary restrictions, so check to see if you can pre-order a Hindu meal option. Anyone can order it, and you’re not stealing a meal from anyone. The benefit is the spices: These meals tend to use more of them, which counteracts the tastebud-suppressing effects of cabin pressure and offers a more satisfying experience.
Also, if you have a choice of meals, always choose the sauciest option. Planes are dry, dry places and those meals get cooked to death in order to ensure they won’t make anyone sick, so the more sauce you have, the less likely your meal will remind you of eating cardboard.
BYO condiments
As an airline passenger, you have a superpower: You can bring your own condiments. You know your meal is going to be disappointing—it’s airline food. Of course it’s going to be disappointing. But! You can liven it up with hot sauce, your own salad dressing, spicy mayo or gourmet mustard, homemade spreads—whatever you can cram into your carry-on in a security-appropriate container. There are people in this world who bring hot sauce to every single meal of their lives for a reason—it can transform the blandest, most boring hunk of chicken into a somewhat satisfying meal pretty much instantly. And any high-quality or homemade condiment or spread will allow you to deconstruct a meal and reconstruct it as something much better.
Pre-order
Finally, don’t just sit there like a sucker and wait to see what the airplane gods are going to serve you. Pre-order your meals like a smart person. Most airlines offer a range of options for pre-ordering special meals like vegan or vegetarian meals (or, see above re: the Hindu meal option), and you should do so for two basic reasons:
Speed. Pre-ordered meals tend to come out before the other meals, which means yours will arrive hot and steaming instead of lukewarm and smashed. A vegetarian meal will be lighter and less disastrous to your stomach and digestive system. And many people (including airline professionals) believe the “niche” meals are made in smaller batches, and thus are higher quality.
Planning. By pre-ordering your meal, you’ll know what you’re eating and you can bring condiments to match and plan the rest of your day’s meals.