White House Anti-Christmas Video Has Side Effects

I should be congratulated on my courage. I’ve managed to finish watching Jill Biden’s Christmas video without throwing up, and that’s much more than can be said for the average viewer. “Magic, wonder, and joy” is her motto. Perfect for an amusement park. 

I have some objections. Christmas is not magic. In fact, it is the opposite of magic. Magic is incompatible with faith. Christmas is salvation through faith, the birth of the Savior. Every child raised in the Christian West has been aware of as much for many centuries, except for those who have grown up in the Biden household, where they are too busy promoting abortionist policies to go to Mass, read Holy Scripture, and engage in other practices discouraged by the Catechism of Good Wokism, where they might have learned that Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem and not in a woke circus.

As far as wonder goes, there are only two wonderous things about Christmas: that almighty God was incarnated in a little Child, and that the Biden White House Christmas video manages to be so creepy without including explicit images of murder.

A bit of magic, wonder, and joy brought to you by the talented tappers of Dorrance Dance, performing their playful interpretation of The Nutcracker Suite.

Enjoy! pic.twitter.com/qXtCm4t37o

— Jill Biden (@FLOTUS) December 13, 2023

Joy, the third concept in her motto, is fine. But why? I’m joyful, too, after three bottles of wine, and that doesn’t necessarily mean “Christmas.” Joy for joy’s sake is as effective as a Christmas concept as Lennon’s Imagine is in achieving world peace.

For the rest of it, you can always tell when the Bidens have set out to do a version of The Nutcracker because there’s no doubt you’re watching a version, but there’s no way of knowing it’s of The Nutcracker. By the way: Does anyone know why there’s a guy with a giant pink cabbage on his head? It’s useless to wonder; the whole anti-Christmas spot is just another crude attempt to divide society on the eve of the great Christian celebration of family, love, and charity.

The whole idea of the video, of course, is not Christmas, or congratulating Americans on Christmas, or anything like that. The idea of the video is to attack Christmas and tradition, omit America’s Christian tradition (and mock it), and, in the process, impart woke doctrine. Of course, it stars a black woman (was there any other choice?) who seems to have had a fight with her dentist, and the video exudes multiculturalism, but it’s funny that the first two white people to appear are the guy with the cabbage on his head and another one who wanders around dressed as a chicken — I think — or maybe something more ridiculous, maybe a pig or a cow. (READ MORE: ’Tis the Season for Streaming Christmas Movies)

It is true that they are not to blame for being there — because no one in the White House should have called them for this in the first place — but all dancers display unhealthy levels of insanity, something that is incompatible with the childlike spirit of children to which Jill Biden claims to want to appeal. Children are the sanest beings in the world, and what scares them most, by far, are crazy people; this is one of the reasons why, no matter how much Biden’s wife insists, most minors will continue to forgo visiting the White House as long as Joe is on the loose. 

There is a dancer who seems to want to connect with children by putting on a wonder face, and the truth is that she lacks only a straitjacket. There is a girl dressed in an obviously masculine suit, while there is a male dancer dressed as if he were Celia Cruz in the music video of La negra tiene tumbao. If it weren’t for the distant little bell that tinkles every so often, the music would be perfect for a fairy tale, an episode of Daffy Duck, or a commercial for sanitary towels, but there’s nothing Christmasy about it. Also, with beautiful traditional old American carols heard around the world, it’s amazing that the Bidens need to butcher The Nutcracker when poor Tchaikovsky can’t even defend himself.

Fortunately, the final bars of the spot show the big White House Christmas tree lit up with pretty lights in the background, and they have not given into the temptation of hanging skeletons, skulls, severed hands, or portraits of Herod on it, so we should probably even be grateful for the Bidens’ Christian sensibility. But, if you ask me, the absence of Hunter Biden dancing with a cabbage on his head is an unforgivable oversight.

Translated by Joel Dalmau.

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