We can’t afford toys in B&M and don’t have enough money for the Aldi shop – the agony for flat broke mums at Xmas
WHEN struggling single mum Yasmin Smith’s 11-year-old twins excitedly gave her their list for Santa, her heart dropped.
With no money to even buy Christmas dinner to feed the family, she had no idea how she was going to explain to her children that he wouldn’t be able to visit.
Sadly, it’s a scenario affecting thousands of parents across the country, as the cost of living crisis has meant many parents are concerned about how they’ll afford this year’s festivities.
Nearly half of parents plan to spend less on their kids’ Christmas gifts and slash their spending by £150, according to a poll.
Worryingly, 60 per cent still feel forced to pay out to make their kids happy, according to the poll by community network Nextdoor.
And, un-affordable spending causes a ripple effect – different research by the debt charity StepChange reveals one in twelve – that’s four million people – will be relying on credit to cover costs.
Working full-time but ‘it’s not enough’
The statistics, particularly for families, are decidedly bleak, and the reality is more than one in three households with children will struggle to afford Christmas this year.
Just recently, one mum, Danielle, shared a heartbreaking video after revealing she burst into tears in budget store B&M when she had to put toys back because she couldn’t afford them.
Despite working full time earning the minimum wage, mum Abbie Palmer said she was forced to walk out of Aldi because she didn’t have enough money to cover her shop.
She tearfully revealed how she lives within her means but it’s still not enough’.
‘It’s heartbreaking’
For Yasmin, 63, Christmas is a difficult time of year because she is struggling to pay off huge credit card debts which she racked up when a shoulder injury left her unable to work.
For two years, she was reliant on statutory sick pay, which left her unable to buy Christmas presents – and even food to feed her family on Christmas Day.
While she has since been able to return to work, Christmas is still a particularly tight time of year for her and her twins, who are now 13.
Yasmin says: “When I was growing up Christmas was a magical time, and I never had to worry about whether there would be food on the table.
“To be in the position where I’m unable to afford the magical Christmas I’m desperate to give is just heartbreaking.
“There’s a huge amount of pressure, especially at this time of year. Not being able to look after yourself is one thing, but when you have little ones depending on you it’s so much harder.”
‘I never thought I’d be unable to afford gifts’
Yasmin once held down a very successful career working in the City as a project manager.
She says: “I honestly never ever thought I’d be in a position where I couldn’t afford Christmas.
“I had a high powered job and worked hard to buy my own home, then used up my savings when the children were little.
“I then changed jobs so I could fit work around them – so part time roles with less responsibility – and a lower wage because I wanted to be home for them more.
“It was working and it was manageable, which meant Christmas was a special time, and the joy on the kids’ faces as they unwrapped their presents is such a happy memory.”
However, when Yasmin was left unable to work in 2021 due to a shoulder injury requiring multiple operations, it quickly became unmanageable – with Christmas time being particularly hard.
And with no family, there was no one to turn to for support.
All I could think about was how they were going to wake up on Christmas morning to nothing.”
Mum Yasmin
She says: “I didn’t want to have to explain to the children so I tried to keep my worries to myself, but all I could think about was how they were going to wake up on Christmas morning to nothing.
“They already knew something was wrong, but while you can go without a holiday in summer, or the odd day out relatively easily, Christmas is a different matter entirely.
“It’s a time for children, and it’s all about giving – and that was the worst feeling, not being in a position to give them anything.
“No parent should ever face having to explain why there isn’t a present under the tree, and the idea of doing that broke my heart.
“Like every other year they’d written their wish lists to Santa, and I had to explain Santa had a lot of other children to visit too, so they had to think about how Santa could manage to afford it all.
“I felt like a failure, and like I’d let them down – even though it was beyond my control.
“I’d already maxed out my credit cards just to pay bills, and it caused a lot of sleepless nights.
“I was left feeling exhausted just trying to keep my head above water and keep going.”
No money for bills or food
Thankfully, Yasmin was provided support by the Salvation Army, who Yasmin describes as a ‘lifesaver’ after they provided a Christmas hamper full of treats and a present for the kids to open on Christmas day.
Yasmin says: “It was such a relief and these small, thoughtful gestures brought so much joy. It made me realise it was going to be OK.
“Initially, I didn’t realise there was help out there, because I had a roof over my head.
“I associated charities with helping homeless people, but while I had a home I couldn’t pay the bills or afford food.”
Now, Yasmin is back at work as a project manager, and while she’s still slowly paying off debt, she is looking forward to Christmas this year and not putting herself under the same amount of pressure she did previously.
She says: “As long as I can pay our bills, put food on the table and put a present or two under the tree, I’m happy. I would urge anyone out there who’s struggling to seek support, as you’re not alone.”
‘Mums don’t eat so their kids can eat’
Sadly, it’s a situation all charities, including the Salvation Army, are seeing become increasingly common.
According to their recent survey, a third of Brits say their feelings of hope this Christmas are at an all-time low this year, with half concerned about the cost of living and nearly a third worried about paying for presents.
For those struggling, there is help.
Salvation Army Officer Eun Ok Shin supports vulnerable people who are struggling, either with social isolation or financial difficulty – a lot of whom are families and single mums with young children.
She says: “I’m a mum of two and it’s heartbreaking to see families struggling anytime of year, and Christmas is especially hard.
“We see a lot of mums with young children, many who are forced to flee domestic violence at home for example, and we’re there to just chat for those who feel lonely, and also provide items such as food parcels to those who can’t afford to eat.
“We also see a lot of low income families who work but have been unable to afford electricity and gas, let alone save any money for Christmas, and some mums have even told us they don’t eat so that they can feed their children.
“Christmas is a huge pressure for them on making it a special day for their children.
“They often feel helpless, but when they realise we can help with small presents and food parcels or vouchers they’re so relieved and so grateful.
“No one should feel guilty not being able to afford Christmas.
“Help is available, and it’s so rewarding and a privilege to be able to support people.”
Help The Salvation Army bring comfort and joy to vulnerable people this Christmas and throughout the year, by donating at www.salvationarmy.org.uk.
*Yasmin’s surname has been changed.