After I broke up with my boyfriend, I was craving a fresh start. I cut too-short bangs and moved to New York.

• When I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, I was craving a fresh start.
• I had been missing my friends and family in New York and decided to move there from Boston.
• That's not the only change I made. I also made a haircut appointment and cut bangs.

There's a lot said about a clean, fresh start — new hair, new clothes, or even a new routine can liven things up and bring a freshness to your life that might be needed. When I broke up with my boyfriend of three years in 2021, I needed fresh everything. Something about the end of this relationship warranted a fresh start however I could find it. That came to be through too-short bangs, packing everything I owned, and driving from Boston to Brooklyn.

One of the reasons for the move was that I needed physical distance more than anything else; I wanted to be closer to my friends and family and further from the life I was leaving behind. I could see how my life in Boston would play out if I stayed, and I wanted to do something rash. The pandemic and its aftermath had reaffirmed my desire to be closer to my family and friends in New York, and the end of my relationship had deepened my need to leave the city I'd called home for the last seven years.

New York City was the perfect city to both run away to and run toward something

There is electricity that runs through New York City, almost begging for reinvention and freedom. In short, New York is the perfect place to move to after a breakup. No one cares if you cry in public, and even if you try, you'll never have the most bizarre haircut in the city.

After leaving Boston, I was craving a change in routine and scenery. I dreamed of figuring it out in the city, meeting new people, and taking quick train rides home to see my mom and grandmother on the weekend. I no longer felt trapped in the life I previously thought I would live. I realized that instead, I could be 100 things and live 100 different lives. Aside from still needing to shove the rest of my clothes into Ikea bags, there was one more thing I needed to do for myself before I left: change how I looked.

I also wanted to change the way I looked

I always heard of people doing dramatic things to their hair after a breakup, and I was desperate for a fresh start. Nothing seems more cathartic in the movies or TV shows than the main character, in an emotional stir, either box-dyeing their hair or taking dull scissors and cutting inches of hair. Cutting off the dead ends is as symbolic as it is literal. I also didn't have the money or the patience to go blonde, so getting bangs would have to do. I made a hasty appointment at the salon down the street from the apartment I was moving out of. It was a stylist I never met, and I didn't speak up and say exactly what I wanted, so I ended up with too-short bangs. I didn't care. They were my too-short bangs.

These moves felt dramatic because, to me, they were. I was running away from something; that much was true. I can't pretend to be the hero in this story; I do still feel guilty for the way I left sometimes. But I was also running toward something, and it was a decision I needed to make for myself. (This is a reminder that if you don't like anything in your life, you can change it, pack up your things, and move hundreds of miles away. It's never too late for a fresh start. The move also pairs very well with 'Vienna' by Billy Joel.)

In the two years that passed since I moved, I've learned that I love really long walks in the local park, roller skating with the sun on my back, trying daring recipes I find on TikTok, and meeting up with friends to test out local restaurants. When I'm not trying to thrift the perfect coat or training for whatever running race I've signed up for (from 5Ks to marathons), I write a lot more, and have started working on a second novel. I never tire of seeing the skyline when taking the subway over the Manhattan Bridge, and I date a man who laughs with his full stomach at my jokes.

After everything, I can say that I love my life because it feels like something I created, that I wasn't just passive in the making of. To move and make dramatic changes to my hair was taking back my life and identity and allowing myself to let go of a past I didn't want to hold onto anymore. Now, I go for long bike rides through the city I love, visit my family on the weekends, and get my bangs trimmed by a professional.