Sex bucket lists, seductive showers & the secret to dirty talk… our erotic guide to having more (and better) sex in 2024
DO you want better sex in 2024? You are not alone.
In our XXXmas sex survey, more than a third (35 per cent) of readers said their New Year resolution is to enjoy more action in the bedroom.
From code words to romp alarms, Sun Sexpert Georgette Culley provides a guide for couples to turbo-charge their libido and make sure they can roar into 2024 . . .
HAVE A GOOD FLIRT
MARRIED couples who flirt with each other have a better sex life, research shows.
When you flirt with your partner you are showing them that you still find them desirable. This makes them feel valued.
Create a “private world” with your spouse and have code words which the kids won’t understand but you two do.
Be playful by sending your other half sexy messages and surprise them with kisses and breakfast in bed.
WRITE A SEX BUCKET LIST
A LOT of couples are afraid to open up with one another about their inner desires.
If you are too nervous to talk about your fantasies face to face, you can start by sending your partner a sex bucket list.
Get them to use the traffic system code to convey what they want to do.
Green for yes, amber for maybe, and red for no. Honest conversations foster deeper intimacy.
COMPLIMENT YOUR PARTNER
GIVING your loved one a compliment will boost their self-esteem, resulting in better sex and a stronger relationship, studies show.
If your partner does something nice for you, make the effort to show them how much you appreciate it.
Just make sure your compliments sound sincere and not fake.
SCHEDULE SEX
IT may sound like the least sexy thing you can do, but scheduling time for a romp is important in relationships.
Desire dwindles over time and we have to focus on “responsive sex” instead.
This means feeling turned on when your partner touches you, rather than wanting to rip off their clothes when you see them.
Set a “sex alarm” on your phone and make it a weekly priority.
The more you do it, the more you want, studies show.
FOCUS ON FOREPLAY
GOOD foreplay is more than just a precursor to sex. Make it the main meal, rather than the starter.
More than 75 per cent of women will struggle to orgasm through penetrative sex alone, so aim for the 10:10 rule – ten minutes of foreplay and ten for sex.
The journey to orgasm can be just as pleasurable as reaching the destination.
TAKE SEX OUT OF THE BEDROOM
COUPLES who enjoy sex outside of the bedroom actually reported having more sex, more relationship satisfaction and more adventurous sex.
Why not surprise your partner in the shower, or perhaps seduce them over dinner in the kitchen.
WEEKLY DATE NIGHTS
IT’S important to keep spontaneity and adventure at the heart of your relationship.
Whether it is going to a new restaurant or to the cinema, it is vital to do new things together.
Schedule weekly date nights with your partner.
Turn off your phone and turn each other on instead.
It will improve your bond, in and out of the bedroom.
HAVE MORE ORGASMS
NEWSFLASH: most simultaneous orgasms are fake! Aim for sequential ones instead.
Stop worrying about when your partner is going to reach the finish line and focus on your own pleasure instead.
Being present in the moment will lead to longer, stronger orgasms.
TRY OUT SEX AIDS
GETTING a little stale in the sack? Try something different.
There is an array of sexual wellness products on the market which help boost your libido and focus on female pleasure.
Massage candles are a great way to dabble with temperature play and spice things up between the sheets.
Sign up to female sexual wellness brand SheSpot and enjoy £10 off your first order shespot.co.uk.
TALK DIRTY TO THEM
TURNING your partner on with dirty talk can be really erotic and a lot of fun.
However, if you are too shy to do it face to face, try sending them a surprise raunchy voice note to help get them in the mood.
Stuck for words? Use multi-sensory descriptive words to tap into their senses.
Build up to it slowly after starting with sexy, positive messages, saying stuff like: “I love it when you do X,Y,Z.”