My boyfriend’s lost all interest in sex – it’s ruining our relationship, help

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend’s not sure if he will ever want sex again – and I’m gutted.

We haven’t been intimate for a year. It’s making me paranoid and is ruining our relationship.

I’m a 45-year-old gay man. My boyfriend is 39.

We’ve been in a relationship for 11 years. Sex was always very important to both of us.

But a couple of years ago, he started saying no to it.

I thought our love life may have grown boring so suggested new experiences, like using sex toys, but it made no difference.

The other day we had a frank talk, and admitted he just has no interest in sex any more. In his words, either I accept that or move on.

But I can’t do either. I now wonder if he’s getting sex elsewhere or just doesn’t fancy me any more. I love him and don’t want to split.

DEIDRE SAYS: Men can go off it for many reasons, often because of stress or anxiety.

My support pack Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive might be helpful to read.

Try talking to him again and ask him to be honest about whether there is something behind this.

If he is willing to get help, try some sex and relationship counselling.

But if he refuses to compromise, you may have to make a tough decision.

For confidential advice, contact switchboard.lgbt, 0800 0119 100.

My support packs Dealing With Jealousy and Looking After Your Relationship will also help.