I'm a millennial DINK who's never having children. We know the consequences and it's not a selfish choice.

• Jess Lorimer is a 34-year-old business owner living in England with her husband and dog.
• The couple are part of the "double income, no kids" demographic and don't plan on having children.
• Lorimer says she gets more backlash about their choice than her husband, who got a vasectomy. 

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with 34-year-old Jess Lorimer, who lives in Winchester, England, about her decision not to have kids. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I've always known that I didn't want children. I didn't have a hideous childhood, but I saw how much my parents gave up.

I wanted to focus on my career, and I know being a parent is an overwhelming responsibility. I knew I didn't want to spend 24 hours a day worrying about another human being.

I met my husband, Owen, in 2021 when I was 30. On our first date, I told him I didn't want children. We'd been together for about five months when we talked about whether he could live without having kids.

He'd been in relationships with people who wanted children, but he also recognized that having kids would mean giving up lots of things. After we got married, Owen had a vasectomy — it was a natural decision for us.

I came across the term DINK, which stands for "dual income, no kids," on Instagram. I saw the term DINKWAD first, which is "dual income, no kids with a dog."

It made me laugh because we have the most spoiled dog. It was nice to know that we're not the only ones who prioritize things in our lives besides having children.

We have more disposable income and can travel more as DINKs

For us, there are huge positives in being DINKs. One of the biggest benefits is you have more disposable income. I read that it costs at least £12,400, or about $16,000, a year to raise a child. I prefer to spend that money on things like professional development and travel.

I set up my own business 10 years ago, and it may not have grown as quickly if I'd had children midway through.

Our disposable income means we can go on big trips. We often travel at Christmas because we don't have the obligation of grandparents or extended family wanting to see grandkids. We went to Thailand last year, and this year, we're going to New Zealand. We also climbed Mount Toubkal in Morocco this summer.

We can also prioritize long-term savings in a way that those with children can't necessarily do. Last year, we took financial lessons and experimented with alternative investments like wine, cryptocurrency, and rental portfolios.

When we're older, we hope to live in a nice nursing home we will have saved for. I imagine we'll pass on some money to Owen's nephew and our godchildren.

The emotional time and investment needed to raise children is also huge. We use that time and energy to work on our relationship, our careers, and recreational pursuits.

There's a lot of stigma that comes with saying you don't want children

People assume that you hate kids, which I find offensive. I don't hate children; I just don't want one.

We've thought a lot about the consequences of having and not having children, but people still tell us we'll change our minds.

When asked about having kids, we politely say it's not in our plan, but people have strong opinions. They say things like, "Your biological clock will kick in," which I find very reductive.

As a woman, the negative comments are usually directed at me. People ask questions like: "How does your husband feel about you removing his ability to have children?" If Owen says we don't want kids, people say things like: "Your wife will change her mind."

It doesn't put a strain on our relationship. I just smile. I've found there's no arguing with what people believe.

A lot of our friends have children

Owen has one nephew, and we have two godchildren. We're prime godparent candidates because we have disposable income, time, and a sense of humor.

We're the fun people kids like spending time with, and we buy them great gifts. For my godson's first birthday, I bought him a mini Rolls-Royce.

It's exciting to be part of their lives and see them experience things for the first time — but would I want to look after a child 24/7? Absolutely not.

I think society views not wanting the responsibility of raising a child as selfish. But it's our choice, and we've decided that there are things in our lives that are more important than having a baby.

I've never wavered about not having children

Watching other people have children has solidified my decision. When I see the work that goes into being a parent, I know I made the right decision.

I understand why people feel strongly about our choice because I do, too. But I wish people would respect our decision and consider whether it's their place to question someone else's choices.

I think it would be unfair to bring a child into the world if you know that you don't want to be a parent. That doesn't make me selfish.