Our Most-Read Pieces of 2023

Thanks to all our contributors for another funny year of satire.

1. AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PAIR OF GEN-Z MEN IN THE NORTHEAST REGIONAL QUIET CAR LOUDLY DISCUSSING PITCHFORK’S 100 BEST ALBUMS OF ALL TIME
by Elizabeth Bastos

2. MACROECONOMIC CHANGES HAVE MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WANT TO PAY YOU
by Mike Lacher

3. WHAT YOUR SENIOR YEAR HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SAYS ABOUT YOU
by Shannon Reed

4. A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WOKE THIRD-GRADE TEACHER, AS IMAGINED BY A FAR-RIGHT POLITICIAN
by Ashley Ingle

5. HOW URGENTLY YOUR MOM NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU, BASED ON WHAT SHE SAID IN THE VOICEMAIL
by Talia Argondezzi

6. WELCOME TO MARY OLIVER GARDEN
by Maggie Downs

7. YOU’RE A CYCLIST WHO WAS JUST STRUCK BY A CAR DRIVER. HERE’S WHY IT WAS YOUR FAULT
by Chas Gillespie

8. HOW TO ENSURE YOUR ANNUAL BEACH VACATION DESTROYS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY
by Talia Argondezzi

9. A CAMPING TRIP WITH YOUNG KIDS, AS IMAGINED BY ME BEFORE HAVING KIDS
by Julie Vick

10. FIFTEEN LONG OVERDUE EUPHEMISMS FOR FEMALE MASTURBATION
by Tina Caputo

11. INTRODUCING OUR UNIVERSITY’S NEW EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT OF SAVING MONEY
by Talia Argondezzi

12. SIGNS THAT YOU’RE READY TO WEAR TAUPE
by Audrey Burges

13. INTRODUCING TOTAL CRAP, THE FIRST MAGAZINE WRITTEN ENTIRELY BY AI
by Jonathan Zeller

14. STATEMENT FROM THE UNIVERSITY ON CURRENT TENSIONS IN THE PLACE YOU’RE PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU READ THIS
by Tiffany C. Li

15. HOUSING SHOULD BE AFFORDABLE EXCEPT WHEN I SELL MY HOUSE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS
by Devin Wallace

16. RON DESANTIS ANSWERS QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PERIOD
by Miriam Jayaratna and Kathryn Baecht

17. I’M ChatGPT, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME DO ANY MORE COPYWRITING
by Joe Wellman

18. THE WEDDING VOWS OF SOMEONE MARRYING THEIR ‘BEST FRIEND’"
by Emily Kling

19. IN THE OFFICE AUTO-REPLY EMAILS FOR A HYBRID WORK SCHEDULE
by Leslie Ylinen

20. GENTLE PARENTING IN CLASSIC LITERATURE
by Jessie Gaynor