Jessica Alba Shares One Tip That Made Her a ‘Better Parent’ & We’re All For It
Learning is a lifelong process, and that includes learning about parenting. You may think you’re an expert…until you actually have a baby. And then that baby grows and changes, and you have to start from square one. And then you have another baby, and they are completely different — meanwhile, your first child is still constantly changing. You get the picture! Well, Jessica Alba was determined to be a “better parent” to her three kids — and specifically to her daughter Honor, 15 — so she did one thing that drastically improved their relationship.
In an interview with REAL SIMPLE’s first-ever “Feelings Issue” for January/February 2024, The Honest Company founder shared that she decided to try therapy with Honor to improve their relationship.
“Honor was probably 11, and we were arguing all the time about dumb stuff,” Alba told the outlet. “And I was like, I don’t want to live like this. This is not fun. I didn’t want us to have a wedge between us.”
She continued, “As her mother, when I say something, she’s going to hear it as an argument or as me trying to control her. I wanted there to be someone who could explain things in a way I couldn’t. What I said to Honor was, ‘I want to be a better parent to you, and this is your forum to basically talk about everything that gets on your nerves that I do.’”
I love that! As a parent of 6-, 4-, and 1-year-olds, I’m already struggling with arguing and communication — going to a joint therapy session sounds like a great way to teach parents how to better communicate with their kids and for kids to learn how to express their feelings and needs to their parents.
The Fantastic Four star said that the therapy worked. “It put me in check,” she told REAL SIMPLE. “Like, ‘Yeah, I totally do that. And I’m sorry. I’m going to work on that.’” Hearing her say that to her pre-teen is healing my inner child a little bit. It’s absolutely so beautiful because, yes, parents can make mistakes and they should apologize and work on it!
“It gave her a little bit of perspective too — that I’m not the bad guy; I’m just being a parent,” Alba continued. “She’ll come out the other side of it, and I’ll still be here. I just wanted to get to that point, and it worked. And the therapist allowed me to see that it’s natural for kids to disagree with their parents, and as a parent it’s not always about being right or rational in that moment. I’m not gonna front, it’s a process and I’m not perfect.”
Alba advocates that therapy is “a good tool for everybody,” adding, “Therapy gets you talking about what’s going on with you and unearths the things that aren’t feeling the best or might be confusing, or things that make you happy. And just unpacking it allows you to process it, and then you can repeat good behavior and find the behaviors you want to redirect.”
The Honest Renovations star, who also shares daughter Haven, 12, and son Hayes, 6, with husband Cash Warren, has talked about going to therapy with her daughters before. In a July 2022 interview with Glamour, she said that she started going to therapy with them when they were going through puberty. “That’s when they started to sort of shut down and get really like, ‘I don’t want to talk any more,’” she told the outlet. “And I’m like, ‘We’re not doing this. We’ve got to keep a line of communication here. How can I be a better parent to you? How do you want me to talk to you? Don’t shut me out.’”
“And I’m going to make mistakes,” she continued. “Here’s a safe space, you can’t get in trouble. Let me know what I’m doing wrong, or what you would like me to do differently.”
Although in an interview with PEOPLE via MSN in Sept. 2023, Alba shared that her daughters now just do therapy on their own. “We’re not doing it together anymore,” she said. “They’re doing it on their own. They’re older now.”
These celebrities are focused on raising their kids to be good humans.