My ex-wife’s partner is a paedophile

DEAR DEIDRE: I was horrified to discover that my ex wife’s current partner is a paedophile.

I’m furious with her for not leaving him sooner, and worried about what my children may have been exposed to.

We have been divorced for ten years. I’m 48 and she’s 45, and our two sons are both teenagers. She’s been living with her partner, 43, for five years.

I have never liked him. He always seemed fake to me and now I’ve been proved right.

He was in court for having sex with a teenage girl and for grooming another online. My partner has now kicked him out but she took her time about it.

I’m so angry at her for being stupid and weak and for putting our children at risk.

I am also anxious that he may have been inappropriate with our boys when they were younger.

They haven’t said anything and they seem fine, but I can’t help imagining it.

To think, he’s been in their lives every day for all these years when I have only been allowed to have them at weekends. If I see him, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself. I want to knock his lights out.

DEIDRE SAYS: Beating this man up would achieve nothing – except landing you in trouble with the police.

Your hatred for him, and your anger towards your wife, are natural.

But they aren’t helping you or your boys, who are doubtless confused and upset about the situation.

Although you have no reason to think he’s harmed them, you need to set your mind at rest.

Talking about your feelings would really help you to deal with them.
Contact nspcc.org.uk (0808 800 5000), who provide professional parenting advice.

They should also be able to advise you on how to talk to your sons about this.