Let’s Rank The Traitors’ Reality-Star Roster
Peacock made a great decision for the second season of The Traitors, the reality smash where a group of 21 people have to suss out the three (or more!) traitors who are “murdering” them in a Scottish castle while host Alan Cumming shows off the world’s most impressive jaunty hat collection. Instead of a cast that’s half former reality stars and half regular people, season two is doubling down on reality infamy and casting from all over the television dial. (Does that even exist anymore? What do we say now? “Across all streaming services with a ‘plus’ or a ‘max’ in their names”?)
Last season gave a bit of an unfair advantage to contestants who’d done stints on reality TV, especially strategy-based competition shows. They’re used to the lying, backstabbing, and double-crossing that’s necessary to be great at a game I like to call The Idiot Mole. Heck, even Housewives have those skills in spades. The normies mostly just floated through the game, a couple getting dragged along to the end by Cirie Fields, a Survivor great and traitor who took the whole prize home for herself. (Remember Quentin? Was he ever right about anything? No!)
Since nearly everyone coming into the castle this time around is sporting a reality-TV pedigree, here’s a refresher on those pedigrees and what they suggest about who is most likely to win. In the grand tradition of Power Rankings (and, yes, there will be sporadic rankings throughout this season), we’re starting with the best and ending with the rest, which is exactly how the traitors should start murdering the competition.
Parvati Shallow
Where you might know them from: Winner of Survivor: Micronesia — Fans Vs. Favorites and runner-up of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, perhaps the best season of the reality stalwart.
Relevant reality skills: Last season, I said, “If they make Cirie Fields a traitor, she’ll win the whole thing,” and she did. This season, I’m saying the same about Parvati, Cirie’s former ally. She is flirty and fun and makes friends easily, but is also behind some of the greatest blindsides in Survivor history. Her biggest stumbling block will be her ongoing feud with Sandra Diaz-Twine, who beat Parv in the finals of Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains.
Will be best as: Traitor
Dan Gheesling
Where you might know them from: The only Big Brother player to end up in the final twice, including winning Big Brother 10.
Relevant reality skills: On his second season of BB, his eviction was so assured he staged “Dan’s Funeral,” considered the greatest move in the history of the game. After surviving his own funeral, the former teacher made it to the very end. A strategist and a gamer with an aw-shucks demeanor, Dan is never not a threat.
Will be best as: Traitor
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Where you might know them from: Winner of Love Island season eight with Davide Sanclimente.
Relevant reality skills: Her lover Davide’s taunt that she is a “liar, actress” turned into a meme, but it’s those exact skills that are going to make her perfect for this game. She’s charming and likable with a bitchy side, perfect for offing the competition.
Will be best as: Traitor
Phaedra Parks
Where you might know them from: The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Married to Medicine.
Relevant reality skills: This former lawyer is one of the smartest and funniest weapons in Andy Cohen’s vast arsenal of smart and funny weapons. But don’t get it twisted; Shady Phae Phae sure can read a bitch and once made up a lie about a castmate that was so terrible she got kicked off RHOA for it. Phaedra’s mix of sincerity, humor, and utter ruthlessness will make her a formidable opponent.
Will be best as: As a Traitor she could win; as a Faithful she’d be the comedic relief we need.
Janelle Pierzina
Where you might know them from: The best Big Brother player never to win.
Relevant reality skills: Cirie was known as the best player to never win Survivor and look how she did! Janelle came in third twice on Big Brother, including an all-stars season where she got shanked by ally Mike “Boogie” Malin at the very end. It doesn’t speak well to Janelle’s ability not to be deceived by a traitor. However, she also appeared on Snake in the Grass, a Traitor-esque game show that also starred, you guessed it, Cirie.
Will be best as: Traitor
Trishelle Cannatella
Where you might know them from: A famous drunken hot-tub threesome on The Real World: Las Vegas, as well as several seasons of The Challenge.
Relevant reality skills: Her showings on The Challenge have been wildly inconsistent, either lasting until the finals or getting eliminated early, so things could go either way for her. But her history makes her likely to be underestimated, which could work in her favor.
Will be best as: Faithful
Tamra Judge
Where you might know them from: The Real Housewives of Orange County.
Relevant reality skills: One of the all-time greatest Housewives, she’s known for bringing drama and confrontation to what was to that point an otherwise sleepy show. Tamra is a great judge (ha!) of character, unafraid to speak her mind and shout that it is “my opinion!!” If she rooted out Vicki Gunvalson’s grifter boyfriend, Brooks Ayers, she can find herself a traitor.
Will be best as: Faithful
John Bercow
Where you might know them from: The former Speaker of the House in the U.K. Parliament. (What’s he doing here and not on Strictly?)
Relevant reality skills: Anyone who lived in England during the Brexit period will have anxiety dreams marked by his shouts of “order!” in the House of Commons. Since most players will have no clue who he is, he could be a dark horse — a career in politics is great practice for whipping the votes against someone to be eliminated. However, considering an investigation found that he was a “serial bully,” he may not go over so great with his fellow cast members.
Will be best as: Faithful
Shereé Whitfield
Where you might know them from: Designer of renowned fashion brand She by Shereé, who has been on this little thing called Real Housewives of Atlanta a couple of times.
Relevant reality skills: Perhaps the best fighter (both physical and verbal) in Housewives history is also the woman behind “Who gonna check me, Boo?,” one of the most memorable moments in the franchise. The mistress of Chateau Shereé is known as the “bone collector” for bringing gossip back to the group, which suggests she could lead the charge during banishments. However, she is not known for being the most eloquent when under the gun.
Will be best as: Faithful, but Shereé flaming out as a Traitor would be epic.
Sandra Diaz-Twin
Where you might know them from: The first-ever two-time winner of Survivor during the iconic Pearl Islands and Heroes Vs. Villains seasons.
Relevant reality skills: She’s not known as “The Queen” for nothing. She perfected the strategy of “anyone but me,” which could be very helpful in this game. However, Sandra was never much of an alliance builder, and her gruff exterior could make her appear like a traitor. Also, her rivalry with Parvati Shallow could derail her whole game.
Will be best as: Faithful
Marcus Jordan
Where you might know them from: Being Michael Jordan’s son and Larsa Pippen’s boyfriend on The Real Housewives of Miami.
Relevant reality skills: This dude is dating the ex-wife of his father’s former bestie and rival, Scottie Pippen. If that’s not some traitor shit, I don’t know what is.
Will be best as: Traitor
Peppermint
Where you might know them from: RuPaul’s Drag Race season nine.
Relevant reality skills: She came in second on her season of Drag Race, but it’s unclear how far charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will get you in the Traitors castle. Sweet and quick to laugh, Peppermint should be a breath of fresh air, or at least keep your breath fresh.
Will be best as: Faithful
Peter Weber
Where you might know them from: He came third in Hanna Brown’s season of The Bachelorette and returned as The Bachelor for season 24.
Relevant reality skills: The United Airlines pilot had long-term relationships with not one, not two, but three of the women from his season. Maybe skipping from one allegiance to another will help his game here — or make everyone think he’s a traitor. Though Arie Luyendyk got to the end of the show last season, it’s still unclear if Bachelor skills translate to anything other than playing the field.
Will be best as: Faithful
Deontay Wilder
Where you might know them from: He’s like a boxer or something?
Relevant skills: Sports? Ew, David! As a reality buff, I have no clue what he offers, but I have a feeling that several of the male contestants — CT, Johnny Bananas, Dan Gheesling — will want to chum up with him because of his professional bona fides and potential challenge mastery. But this is a game about emotional violence rather than physical violence, so let’s see if he can adapt.
Will be best as: A Faithful, I guess?
Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Where you might know them from: Seventeen seasons as a professional dancer on Dancing With the Stars, including one win with Meryl Davis.
Relevant reality skills: We know this guy has the moves, but how will he handle the stress of a situation that is more mental than physical? You can’t rumba your way out of getting murdered. He will slay at the challenges though.
Will be best as: Faithful
Carsten “Bergie” Bergersen
Where you might know them from: Love Island USA season five.
Relevant reality skills: The former Dairy Queen manager has come a long way from his fast-food roots. He struggled to find love on his season and ended up with Taylor Smith and finished third. Known for being sincere and friendly, he might be too much of a dupe to root out the traitors.
Will be best as: Faithful
Kevin Kreider
Where you might know them from: Bling Empire, Netflix’s reality version of Crazy Rich Asians.
Relevant reality skills: This model sure is real, real pretty. And like the stereotype of real, real pretty models, he hasn’t really shown much in the way of intellectual heft. Unless, like Quentin last year, he gets dragged to the end because he’s more clueless than a virgin who can’t drive, he doesn’t stand a chance.
Will be best as: Faithful
Chris “CT” Tamburello
Where you might know them from: The Real World: Paris and more appearances on The Challenge than Lacey Chabert has been in Hallmark Christmas movies.
Relevant reality skills: With seven victories, he is the only person in Challenge history to win more money than Johnny Bananas, but he is also the only contestant to be disqualified from the show twice for physical violence. While he doesn’t play as dirty a game as Johnny, I have a feeling no one in the house will trust him.
Will be best as: Faithful
Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio
Where you might know them from: Literally every reality show ever produced, but most famously for winning more than $1 million over seven seasons of The Challenge.
Relevant reality skills: This is a guy who once kept $275,000 in winnings rather than split it with his partner, and is such a villain he was on the cast of, you guessed it, House of Villains. No one is going to trust him, and the only thing that will keep him from getting voted off early is that he will be able to perform in the physical challenges.
Will be best as: He’s screwed either way.
Mercedes “MJ” Javid
Where you might know them from: Bravo’s regrettably canceled Shahs of Sunset.
Relevant reality skills: Being from the docusoap world, MJ has never really played a game. In fact, on Shahs she spent most of her eight seasons running around as a ditzy, drunken mess. She doesn’t seem to have what it takes to deceive as a traitor or to figure out who else is.
Will be best as: Faithful
Larsa Pippen
Where you might know them from: The Real Housewives of Miami, kissing Kardashian asses, and selling feet pics on OnlyFans.
Relevant reality skills: Larsa, who recently managed to make a co-star’s cancer diagnosis all about her, is perhaps the most narcissistic and oblivious Real Housewife, and to stand out in that crowd really means something. Also, she threw a “welcome home” party for her boyfriend, Marcus Jordan, after he was gone for five days. Between her lack of awareness for others around her and not wanting to be separated from her boo, she’s absolute toast.
Will be best as: It honestly doesn’t matter.