My boyfriend became my stalker – he was convinced I was having affairs, followed me to the shops & called me 200 times
As Leanne Hoare struggled down the street carrying her shopping bags, she heard an engine slowing behind her, and her heart dropped.
Without turning around, she knew she was being followed. And she knew exactly who it was.
For months, controlling Michael Duncan secretly followed his ex-partner Leanne to the supermarket, convinced she was having affairs, and spat in her face when she dared have a night out without him.
After she ended their relationship, he called her 200 times. On Christmas Day, he left a voice note telling her to kill herself, leaving her in floods of tears.
Duncan admitted assaulting, controlling and harassing Leanne. He was also handed a five-year restraining order.
Leanne, 34, from Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, said: “I had known Michael for years and the fact that we were already good friends was really reassuring to me. I thought I knew him, and thought I could trust him. I could not have been more mistaken.”
The pair had been friends for 17 years before starting a relationship in January 2022.
From friendship to more
Leanne said: “We’d been out for a couple of drinks, just as friends, and then Michael kissed me. It was completely out of the blue, but I realised, deep down, I fancied him.
“I knew him so well and I felt safe with him. Ironically, I thought the fact that we were good mates meant he would not hurt me. As a single mum with five children, I’d had my fair share of rotten relationships and heartbreak. So Michael felt a safe bet. I knew he’d look after me.
“I booked a caravan holiday for me and the kids, and he came along. I really felt this time, after all my bad luck, I’d found the man of my dreams.”
But a couple of months into the relationship, Duncan demanded she delete all of her male friends from social media. He began following her to the supermarket, accusing her of having affairs, and did not let her socialise with friends or see her family.
Controlling behaviour
She said: “I wasn’t even allowed to message my children’s father, to make childcare arrangements.
“Yet Michael had lots of female friends on social media, and he was very flirty. I was confused by it. I kept trying to reason with him. This wasn’t a side I had ever seen of him before, and I thought I could make him see I could be trusted.
“But then, he banned me from going out on my own. I wasn’t allowed to socialise with friends or visit my family without him as chaperone. And when I went out with Michael, he didn’t allow me to even look at another man and certainly not have conversations.
“He was permanently convinced I was having affairs, yet there wasn’t a shred of evidence.
“He was following me to the supermarket to make sure I wasn’t meeting a mystery man. I’d see his van, slowly trailing me down the high street.”
Filled with rage
In August 2022, when Leanne risked meeting a female friend for a few drinks, Duncan tracked her down and spat in her face in a rage. Soon after, in September 2022, she finished the relationship.
She said: “It was so hard because this Michael was so different from the Michael I had been friends with for so many years. I couldn’t work out which was the real one.
“But I was disgusted by him spitting at me and he had embarrassed me in front of my friends. We split, and I thought that was the end of it. But Michael started turning up outside the house every day, he called, and sent me voice notes.
“Sometimes, he’d threaten to kill himself. Other times he was abusive calling me a tramp and a slut. He threatened to cut my ears off. He really frightened me.
“When he banged on the door, the children and I had to hide upstairs, with the lights off, pretending we were out.”
Called 200 times
On Christmas Eve, Duncan called her 200 times. On Christmas Day, he called and told her she should kill herself, claiming nobody would miss her if she was dead.
Leanne said: “At one stage, he was calling me twice a minute. Christmas was a real low point for me. I have a photo of me sitting on the sofa, sobbing, on Christmas Day. I felt like he had beaten me.
“I cooked Christmas dinner for the kids, but I couldn’t eat a mouthful myself.”
In January she reported Duncan, and he was arrested and charged with assault and stalking. To her horror, Leanne discovered he had previous convictions for domestic abuse.
In February 2023, Michael Duncan, now 39, pleaded guilty before Chester Magistrates’ Court and was jailed for six months for stalking and assault. He was also handed a five-year restraining order.
Following his sentencing detective constable Luke Bailey said: “This was an extremely traumatising experience for the victim in this case and I hope that Duncan’s sentencing, along with his five-year restraining order, will provide her with some reassurance.”
Leanne runs a support group called ‘Love Doesn’t Hurt’ offering help and advice to survivors of domestic abuse.
She says: “I want to turn my own pain into something positive. I’d urge anyone who is trapped in an abusive relationship to reach out for help.
“This New Year, I am starting afresh on my own, and it’s the best gift I could wish for. I will never let another man rule my life.”
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.