Miss Manners: Is it wrong to have an A-list for use of my vacation home?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are fortunate to have been able to build a vacation home.

In our first year of owning this property, we have hosted many family members and friends, as well as invited our college-aged children to host their friends. We have also offered the home to my sister when she was visiting her daughter, who attends college nearby.

Now an adult relative asked to use the house (without us there) for a vacation with their partner, and I’m finding myself conflicted by this request.

Building this home was a big decision for us, and we are not interested in making it a rental property. I am not keen on setting a precedent that opens the door to my sizable extended family requesting weeks they want to use our home — but perhaps we already have by inviting our children and my sister to use it.

I wonder if there is an appropriate way to set boundaries that balance my desire to be generous with my desire to limit unattended guests to those we invite per specific circumstances.

GENTLE READER: You do not need to make excuses. It is your home and you may lend it — or not — to anyone you like.

You know — as does Miss Manners, and anyone else who tries to compare the situations — that your children and sister are quite different from these more distant, and more brazen, relatives.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a full-time college student. My university has scheduled all classes so that there is a 10-minute gap between each one, giving students time to get to their next class, use the restroom, grab a coffee, etc.

This is generally respected by most of my professors, who let us out when class is supposed to be over.

But I have one professor who repeatedly continues to lecture after class is supposed to be over, sometimes up to five minutes, which makes it difficult to get to my next class on time. I wouldn’t mind if this happened every once in a while for a minute or two, but it’s almost every class.

Generally, students will subtly pack up their belongings when class is over to alert a professor who may have lost track of time. But this professor just ignores us and keeps lecturing.

How do I approach this without seeming rude? I’m not late arriving to class, so I feel like keeping students after class is very disrespectful.

GENTLE READER: “I am not sure that you are aware, but some of us have classes scheduled directly after this one and find it difficult to get to them if we don’t have the 10-minute buffer allotted by the university. Your lectures are always so insightful, I wouldn’t want to miss a word. But I also don’t want to get in trouble with my other professors.”

If this does not work, Miss Manners suggests that you ask the professor for a note explaining your tardiness to your other instructors. The idea of writing 73,664 separate notes will act as a deterrent from ever making you late again.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.