Exclusive: Sarah Michelle Gellar Opens Up About the 'Beautiful But Stressful' Parts of Parenting & It's So True
If anyone says parenting is wonderful all the time, they’re lying. Or they don’t actually have kids. Because all parents know that it’s equal parts amazing and frustrating, lovely and chaotic, exhilarating and mind-numbingly boring. (Nobody but toddlers can watch the same show for 47 times without wanting to claw their eyes out, OK?) Sarah Michelle Gellar summed it up in a new interview with SheKnows, where she called motherhood “beautiful but stressful” — and I’ve never related to anything more.
Mindset Change
The Buffy The Vampire Slayer alum’s oldest child Charlotte is 14, so she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have been doing this whole “raising kids” thing for a while. (They are also parents to son Rocky, 11.) “I think, ultimately, it’s just sort of a change in mindset,” Gellar says, when I asked what she’s learned about motherhood over the years. “Because even though I was married for ten years [before Rocky was born], my husband was an adult, and I knew he could take care of himself.”
She explains, “But all of a sudden, in your mind, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you’re worried about these little beings in an incredibly all consuming, beautiful but stressful way.”
Yes! And even if you have tons of help, becoming a guardian of a precious infant or two feels incredibly overwhelming. What do you mean this baby is my responsibility 24/7? I remember thinking when my eldest was born. I felt like I needed a grown up to help, but there was just me. It’s like being thrown in the ring of fire, and yes, it’s beautiful, but that doesn’t negate how challenging it is, too!
Speaking of challenges, Gellar has also faced her fair share of those. “That’s what’s funny about the challenges of being a parent … it always seems like the hardest part. And then you get to the next part, and you’re like, ‘Oh, this is harder,’” she tells us. “I don’t think it ever changes.”
Technology Rules
A new issue she and her Scooby Doo co-star husband are facing with their kids revolves around technology. This is hard “especially because we have no roadmap,” Gellar says. “There are certain things where we can ask people that have been through it, ‘How did you handle this when I was a kid?’ But this is a new frontier. And so we’re really sort of learning as we go, and I think that’s always incredibly challenging.”
One way she is handling this is by making sure her kids get lots of break from technology. The Wolf Pack actress does this by setting time limits for screen time. “I think it’s a big ask to expect our children to be able to self-regulate at this age,” she explains.
“My son’s younger, so there’s websites I don’t want him on,” she continues. “Being able to block that is great. And hopefully, our idea is that by doing that, it will become a habit, and that eventually, when they’re on their own with their devices, they’ll be able to self-regulate and understand how much time they’re on their devices.”
Setting an Example
She and Prinze also do their best to set an example for their kids. “My husband and I, we sit down for dinner at the table. There are no phones,” Gellar says. “We will all watch a show together. There are no phones. It’s those moments where we set the example. We connect. We make eye contact.”
Even when technology might be useful, Gellar still sets limits. “If they want help with their homework, we put our phone away and we sit down and we help them,” she says. “And even when they say, ‘Well, can you just look up the answer on the phone?’ We’ll be like, ‘No, we’re gonna figure out the answer and the problem, and we’re gonna work through it.’”
Taking Breaks
Gellar’s strong belief in technology breaks is the reason she partnered with UScellular to encourage people to participate in the Global Day of Unplugging on March 1.
“I hope that everyone joins myself and UScellular for Global Day of Unplugging on March 1 and takes this global break, because you’ll realize how much better you feel, and you sort of understand your relationship with technology in a different way,” she says. Gellar encourages everyone to follow her example and go to uscellular.com/unplugging and share UScellular’s Global Day of Unplugging image on your social channels today. For every share, UScellular will make a donation up to $10,000 to Unplug Collaborative. You will also see tips and resources to help you disconnect.
“I think it’s important for everybody to take breaks,” she says, sharing that breaks help us “realize how much time we’re spending on our devices.”
“We’re all guilty of it,” Gellar continues. “I lead a wonderful life. I still get jealous sometimes of people’s trips or things I see on social media. We’re human, and it’s about separating that and also understanding that when we spend too much time looking down, we’re not looking up. And looking up is beautiful.” We couldn’t agree more.
Before you go, check out these celebrities who have shared their technology rules for their kids.