I thought my fella was going to propose – but he told me I was too fat instead… it was me who had the last laugh
WHEN Nikita Fowler’s partner Tom told her he wanted to have a serious talk, her heart began to flutter.
With their relationship going from strength to strength, the 31-year-old was sure that her flame was about to pop the question; however, it seems he had a rather more indecent proposal.
Speaking in this exclusive interview Nikita, from Bournemouth, says, “We had been together for a couple of months and I could feel myself falling hard for Tom.
“One night at the pub he told me he wanted to talk to me about something important.
“He was fidgety and looked uncomfortable and I wondered whether he might be about to propose, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next.
“He told me he thought I was wonderful, and that he would love to put a ring on my finger as he loved who I was on the inside.
“So far, so good. Then came the ‘but’.
“He told me that I was ‘too big’ and if I promised to lose weight, he would promise to propose.
“It was so cruel.”
Viscious attack
Nikita says that she began to struggle with her weight after a harrowing incident when she was 17.
She explains: “I’d been walking through a dark park on my way round to my friend’s house when a group of girls came out of nowhere and attacked me.
“The cruel thugs smeared hair loss cream all over my head before and I was left with tufts of hair sprinkled either side of a huge bald patch.
“In the end I was forced to shave my entire head and after that night I lost all my confidence.
“I became terrified to leave the house and I suffered with night terrors.”
Nikita says she fell into unhealthy habits as a way of coping with the trauma and saw her weight spiral out of control.
Three takeaways a day
“I’d been a healthy, happy teenager but now I locked myself inside, depressed and scared,” she says.
“I rarely got any fresh air and never exercised.
“The only thing that brought me any kind of comfort was food.
“At one point as I was getting through three Indian takeaways a day, ordering them behind my mum’s back.
“My favourite dishes would give me plenty of comfort while I was eating them but once I’d finished, I’d look at the empty cartons and feel guilty.
“No amount of food could fill what felt like a gaping hole inside me.”
I was so gobsmacked by his announcement that I actually laughed
Nikita Fowler
Within three years Nikita’s weight had shot up to 26 stone.
“I hated my body but I didn’t know how to fix it,” she says.
“Instead, I stayed at home, longing to be like the other girls my age – going out shopping, partying and on dates with boys.”
Finding love
When Nikita reached 24, her dreams of meeting a boy came true when she connected with Tom over Facebook.
“I’d noticed he’d been commenting on some of my posts and when we got chatting, I found he was kind and friendly,” she says.
“Tom had seen my pictures, he knew I was a big girl. But that didn’t stop me feeling nervous when we met for the first time.
“But I needn’t have been nervous. Tom kissed me on the cheek and told me I was lovely and as we chatted I felt like I had known him forever.”
After six or so dates, Nikita admits she was smitten, but it was then that Tom made his indecent proposal.
“I was so gobsmacked by his announcement that I actually laughed,” Nikita recalls.
“Tom was babbling about a conversation he’d had with his mum and how she’d taught him never to settle and only to marry the best.”
Cruel motivator
Nikita didn’t stick around to hear the rest.
“I told him that if he didn’t want me at my worst he didn’t deserve me at my best,” she says.
“I left the pub and never looked back.
“Tom tried calling me to beg for forgiveness but I blocked his number. I hated him for what he said.
“But that night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I had to accept that the truth was, he’d hit a nerve.
“Tom wasn’t good enough for me but deep down I knew what he was right – I was too big.
“At 26 stone I was hugely unhealthy but for the first time in a long time, instead of hiding myself away in shame and burying my head in the sand, I decided to act.”
Spurred on by Tom’s words, Nikita began researching gastric surgery in a bid to find a way to shift her 26st bulk.
“I knew that I needed to be in the right place mentally for such a life-changing operation and for a whole year, I endlessly researched all the options,” she says.
By September 2017, with the help of her family and a loan, Nikita had saved the £10,000 she needed for the surgery at The Spire hospital in Southampton.
She was told her stomach would shrink by 28 per cent be removed during the surgery and her appetite would plummet dramatically.
Disappearing act
For the first four weeks after the operation, Nikita didn’t lose much weight as her body adjusted but soon after she began to shed the weight rapidly.
She says: “I took up boxing and sometimes I’d drop as much as a stone in one week.
“The weight was falling away so quickly, I didn’t believe the numbers on the scale.
“It was incredible and just 18 months later, I’d shrunk from 26 stone to my goal weight of 15 stone.
“I was happy with what I’d achieved but my weight loss continued until by 2020, I’d hit a slinky 10 stone.”
Feeling happier and healthier, Nikita was able to find love again.
“I felt like a whole new woman – inside and out – and the best thing was, I was supported by my new partner, Dan,” she says.
“I’d begun a relationship with him seven months after my surgery. We’d been friends for 13 years before our friendship blossomed into romance.
He offered to buy me a drink and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I turned him down
Nikita Fowler
“And he’d known and loved me before I lost the weight. He’d been by my side throughout my weight loss journey and proved he loved me through thick and thin.”
When Nikita bumped into Tom at the pub she couldn’t help but feel smug.
“His face was a picture as it slowly dawned on him who I was,” she says.
“He offered to buy me a drink and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I turned him down.
“I thanked him for his ‘kind’ advice and left him alone.
“I smiled all the way home. Most women expect a marriage proposal to change their lives… but not quite like this.”
*Tom’s name has been changed