Making memories that last a lifetime
Fall arrived on the doorstep with a welcome visit from my out-of-state nephew Dwayne. This visit was a breakthrough in our cautionary COVID-regulated lifestyle. Dwayne is an adult, soon to enter senior status. I crossed over to “double senior status” some time ago. I feel close to Dwayne and wish that I could make up for the sad, unsupportive childhood he endured as a result of my sister’s stumbles in life.
So, here we are at this time and place, happy in each other’s company. It’s been some time since I cooked a big breakfast for two, shared the morning newspaper and made plans for the day. I looked forward to each special activity: a trip to Muir Woods, visiting the Charles Schulz (Snoopy) Museum, a roam around our luscious farmers market, a road trip to Nevada City and Grass Valley, and even going to the movies.
The movies were a big step forward for me.
At first I said, “Positively no. No enclosed spaces close to dubious COVID-status persons.”
However, since I wanted Dwayne to have a good time and I had received all my shots, I consented to take a look at the space and seating arrangements. We ended up being two of six or eight people in the entire theater with so much space between ourselves and the others I could hardly see them. The movie was fun — a Disney adventure. The popcorn was just as I like it: plain with a touch of salt.
The morning Dwayne left for his trip home, I made sure he was fortified with a hearty breakfast of nutritious, mostly plant-based foods. During his stay, I introduced him to Greek yogurt, sprouted wheat bread and even oven-roasted vegetables. Dwayne is used to fast foods. He knows the menus of all the box restaurants that line our highways and strip malls. He drinks Cokes (no alcohol, not even wine) and is crazy, as I am, for chocolate ice cream or cake, doesn’t matter which.
Being his auntie, I took advantage of the privilege of straight talk, in this case, advice and comments about his diet and the glaring lack of green, leafy vegetables as I piled them on his plate.
He tolerated me with a fond smile, went ahead and fixed the shower drain, watered my plants, swept the patio and garage floor, and put out the garbage. What a great guy!
I have outlived most of my dear family and find that I am somewhat of an outlier in the remaining constellation. Blessed with good health, an active mind, creative abilities and good luck, I lead an independent, exciting life. Here’s a little secret, though. The need for affirmation never goes away. When someone special in my life pays attention to me, it opens my floodgates of gratitude and love, reminding me of how good it feels to pay it forward. Dwayne came to visit because he loves me. My heart is full.
Valerie Jelenfy Stilson is a Novato resident. IJ readers are invited to share their stories of love, dating, parenting, marriage, friendship and other experiences for our How It Is column, which runs Tuesdays in the Lifestyles section. All stories must not have been published in part or in its entirety previously. Send your stories of no more than 600 words to lifestyles@marinij.com. Please write How It Is in the subject line. The IJ reserves the right to edit them for publication. Please include your full name, address and a daytime phone number.