My ex-husband is making co-parenting our children impossible

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my ex-husband and I split up I believed his promises to co-parent our children, but six months later and I’ve had nothing but trouble.

All I want is for my sons to have a present father, but he’s doing everything he can to make it impossible.

I’m 34, my ex is 36 and we were together for six years. We have two young sons, one is four and the other is seven.

It’s fair to say our marriage was rocky. We struggled to agree on anything; from the kids’ bedtime, to discipline and even how we spent our holidays.

Eventually we decided to end things. 

While we couldn’t get along, I never had any doubts about him as a father. 

Yet since we separated, he’s turned into someone I don’t recognise. He’s dismissive, callous, and nasty.

On far too many occasions he’s failed to show up to see them, and somehow always finds a way to spin it on me.

He never refrains from speaking badly about me and the kids often come home upset and confused.

Every time I’ve tried to discuss it with him he gets angry and starts an argument.

Now he’s threatened to pull out all financial support unless I give him full custody. 

I’m at a loss and starting to question if they’d be better off without him.

DEIDRE SAYS: While he may think he can withhold child support to get what he wants, parents actually have a legal responsibility to provide for their children, regardless of whether they’re present.

Withholding child support is also a common form of economic abuse that takes place after a relationship ends.

Getting some legal advice might put your mind at ease. Contact Citizens Advice (www.citizensadvice.org.uk).

Rights of Women can also talk this through with you (rightsofwomen.org. uk, 020 7251 6577).

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out to help you navigate your children’s feelings through this time.