Stolen Jaromír Jágr bobbleheads from Penguins are NHL’s biggest heist

... HOW DO YOU STEAL A SHIPMENT OF BOBBLEHEADS

A good majority of the heists in the documentary “Despicable Me” involve a group of yellow minions chasing around Steve Carrell and stealing the moon. A classic documentary about the heist game, it shows how hairbrained the ideas are behind most big heists.

Again: Despicable Me is a documentary. Exhibit A: PEOPLE STOLE JAROMIR JAGR BOBBLEHEADS OFF A SHIPMENT IN CALIFORNIA.

So, my first question here is how did an entire box, or maybe boxes of Jagr bobbleheads get stolen from California? that would take an impressive level of deception, ones that we only know in documentaries like Despicable Me.

Second question: did the bobblehead burglars know that they were going after Jagr bobbleheads? I don’t think someone would intentionally steal some bobbleheads, and now some robbers think they stole money and somehow have made 18,000 Penguins fans very angry. Finally, what do you do with 18,000 Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads? There’s no shot you sell them right away because the FBI would be on you, but you can’t really hold onto them or sell them on the black market. You’re stuck giving out bobbleheads to every child in Brawley, CA for Halloween, and people are starting to ask questions.

The only real solution here is this: stealing those bobbleheads was never about the money. It was about sending a very whimsically, cartoonishly evil message. Amazon better keep their passwords close, because someone is stealing teddy bears off a truck next.