Will coming eclipse bring God's judgment?
Attention, dear readers, it's time for this warning. A solar eclipse is coming to America on April 8. The path of totality combined with the path of the solar eclipse seven years ago will cross over southern Illinois, making an X in the heartland of the U.S.
Some prophecy watchers say this is God's warning to America of coming judgment. Will a disaster of some sort hit on that day or soon after? Nobody knows, but my vast research staff has found links between disasters in the past and other celestial eclipse-like events.
Look at this one. According to my team, this occurred on Thursday night, July 9, 20 B.C. The moon eclipsed the asteroid OOOPs, and on Earth, a doorbell rang at the gate of Troy. Some Greek guy named Zorba yelled, "I got a delivery here for a large party pizza and, for being a faithful customer, a free wooden horse."
A conjunction of the sun with the asteroid Boom happened on May 1, 1937. The German-owned Hindenburg was being readied for a trip to New Jersey. As it prepared for departure, Dieter, chief fuel operator, was filling balloons with helium for his girlfriend's surprise birthday party, so Franz, fueler No. 2, was told, " Use ze hydrogen on ze zeppelin – it's just as good as ze helium, but you better put out that cigar."
On April 14, 1912, the planet Jupiter conjuncted with the asteroid Crunch, and on Earth, the following happened: The captain of the Titanic stepped away from the steering wheel to get a sandwich. His assistant Dave Knievel took the wheel and said, "Watch this, I'm going to take this bad boy and cut that chunk of ice like a hot knife through butter."
A few personal and political blunders also have conincided with celestial interactions. This happened when the sun eclipsed the asteroid Pinocchio a few months ago: Joe Biden answered a pesky question on Aug. 28, 2019, saying: "I have never discussed with my son or my brother, or anyone else anything having to do with their business." Then he tucked his nose into his sock and boldly walked away on his quest to defend democracy.
Back in 2008, the asteroid OBAMA nearly crashed into the moon. It caused a presidential candidate to say, "I've now been in 57 states, I think I have one to go."
My research team discovered that the asteroid IS nearly hit the earth in 1995 and led Bill Clinton to meet a new White House intern to whom he said, "I'm sure you'll be a pleasure to work with."
So, what cataclysm is about to happen on April 8, 2024?
Here's my prediction of the horror that awaits us. Kamala Harris will step to the microphone and punish humanity with something like this:
"Time in this world is really three times. The past which is in the past is not now, the present is now and not in the past or the future, and the future which is not now or in the past. Some of the future is about to become now and some of it will become now tomorrow, and some will become the past the next day (cackle, cackle).
" Isn't time amazing? I love time. I love it almost as much as I love a yellow school bus (cackle, cackle)."
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