The Watchable But Unnecessary Road House Remake
Doug Liman’s new version of Road House is surprisingly watchable, even if it’s an unnecessary remake. The original Road House came out in 1989, and its intrinsic 80s gestalt was one of its best qualities. Patrick Swayze starred as Dalton, a nationally famous bar bouncer recruited to a club in rural Missouri called the Double Deuce, where he fights off local toughs and ultimately foils a scheme by a nefarious crime lord. It was one of Swayze’s most beloved roles, and he was credible as a fighter, just two years after he starred as a dancer in Dirty Dancing.
The new version is set in the present day and moves the action to the Florida Keys, bringing it squarely into the South Florida Sleaze subgenre. The hero is still named “Dalton” and is now played by Jake Gyllenhaal, only instead of a renowned bouncer, he’s a former MMA fighter, disgraced in the sport for reasons that are slowly parceled out throughout the movie.
Jessica Williams, formerly of The Daily Show, plays the Sam Elliott role of the road house owner, and she agrees to pay him $20,000 a month, which is… a lot to pay a bouncer. Dalton is protecting the club from a rich, in-over-his-head crime lord (Billy Magnussen) who has his own plans for the real estate. Why these elaborate plans for revenge and violence are focused on the bouncer doesn’t make much sense, although that was also the case in the original.
The movie starts behind the eight ball for a few reasons. A remake wasn’t needed, and it’s missing the 1980s setting and the absurdity of the “famous bar bouncer” concept. Directed by Doug Liman, who did the first Bourne Identity movie, the action scenes are choppy and shaky-cam-dependent. Rather than the Double Deuce, the road house is called “The Road House,” and the boat he lives on is called “The Boat.” (The road house is a pretty cool set that the movie makes the most out of.)
Daniela Melchior plays the love interest. Joaquim a de Almeida, who played the best villain in the entirety of the Fast and the Furious series, plays a corrupt lawman. There are too many characters, and some of them could’ve been combined.
But the film won me over. Gyllenhaal is delightfully wisecracking as Dalton, while Magnussen is great at playing the smug jackass. Conor McGregor, the MMA fighter whose public persona I’ve never much enjoyed, shows up in his movie debut as an enforcer—appearing for the first time naked, as if he were The Terminator—and is charismatic, even if he’s not a natural actor.
Besides, Road House isn’t even the most shamelessly fan-service-dependent 1980s reboot of the week; that’d be Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.