Reddit Is ‘Genuinely Embarrassed’ About This Lazy Parent Who Refuses To Make Their Own Breakfast
Breakfast in bed is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I’ve never felt more pampered than when my husband wakes up before me and brings me a homemade breakfast on a tray — but it’s also not something I would ever expect him to do. Unlike this one parent on Reddit, who is mad at their partner for not making them breakfast every day as if they were one of the kids. Give me a break!
In the popular Am I The A—hole (AITA)? subreddit, a parent of two young kids shared that they wake up “an hour before everyone else” to pack lunches, make coffee, and make breakfast for themself and the kids. “I then get my kids up, fed, clothed and ready for the day and bring them to school,” they wrote. “I then come home and take care of our miriad of animals before I start work on my laptop. Somewhere in there I might eat a piece of toast and drink tea in a travel mug to save time.”
While this parent is doing all of that — alone — their partner is sleeping!! Yes, sleeping. Not even tackling getting the kids ready and driving them to school. Just straight up snoozing until it’s time for them to work, as they both work from home. But here’s the kicker. The first thing this person demands of their already-been-up-for-hours partner? To whip up a meal!
“When they do get up, my SO makes it a point to ask me to make them breakfast,” they wrote. The OP explained that they actually used to make breakfast for the partner (again, another adult) every day, “but since my SO wasn’t getting up until later, they would get mad at me for giving cold food (they like a toasted bagel with cold cuts).”
Are you seeing red yet? This person had the audacity to criticize their partner for making them cold food, then proceeded to complain that they weren’t making them breakfast at all. There’s an easy solution: just get out of the damn bed and make breakfast yourself! While you’re at it, maybe pick up a dish or two to scrub or help out in another way.
Will they pour their own coffee at least, or is that also too much work?
OP shared that for a while, they made their significant other food when they woke up, “which generally meant stopping whatever I was doing at work to tend to them when they needed it” as if this person was a baby. It seems like this person has three kids instead of two!
After the OP got “fed up” and “a bit resentful” (um, understandable!), they stopped making their partner breakfast and set a boundary. “If they want breakfast made, they would have to wake up with everyone else and eat with us,” they said. Super fair, right? Except, the lazy parent didn’t think so.
“My SO told me it’s my job to make breakfast and I am choosing not to do my job by not feeding them,” they wrote. “That it’s my fault for not waking them up because I know how hard it is for them to wake up on their own.”
Are you kidding me?! It’s their job to make them breakfast? Just stick a bagel in a toaster oven and grab some cold cuts from the fridge. Literally, what? And don’t even get me started on expecting their partner to wake them up. This whole situation is utterly ridiculous. The significant other is treating their partner like their mom.
The OP shared that they would not wake their partner up, or make breakfast, as “they are a grown adult like me” — and good for them for setting boundaries! In the comments section, they clarified more about the situation: “My partner believes it is my responsibility to make breakfast as that is one of my assigned chores,” they wrote, and we are cringing. Assigned chores? Gag! “I do all the meals, meal prep, groceries, among other chores, other than breakfast on Sundays,” they continued. “My SOs understanding is that I make sure everyone eats breakfast.” (Yes, apparently that means even adults.) “My understanding is that I make breakfast for those available at breakfast time,” they continued — and even that is being pretty generous!
“My SO has their own chores — laundry, grass mowing, cleaning the house etc.,” they added.
Most Redditors deemed the OP not the a—hole (NTA). “Start dating an adult that can pour some cereal into a bowl with milk or something,” one person wrote, adding that this parent “sounds needy and entitled.” “They don’t wanna get up in a timely fashion to eat with everybody else, when breakfast is fresh, hot, and on the table. They don’t want cold food,” they continued. “They don’t wanna make their own breakfast. They want you to put eeeeverything on pause to make them breakfast.”
“This post made me viscerally angry,” someone else wrote. “OP does everything in the morning while their partner sleeps in, and then their partner has the audacity to throw a tantrum and claim making them breakfast is OP’s ‘job’? I don’t know how people live with such selfish partners.”
“I’m genuinely embarrassed for the grown adult with kids who needs their partner to leave work and fix them a bagel sandwich,” another person wrote. “Like. My 10-year-old nephew could make himself a bagel sandwich. It’s not some complicated task that only a skilled master can accomplish.” Preach!
Others shared suggestions for how they could more evenly distribute the workload. “What a garbage way for your partner to act,” one person said. “Equitable morning distribution in our house is one person makes the breakfast, one person makes the lunches (which includes adults’ lunches, too). One meal prep per adult makes sense to us. The way your SO is treating you is disgusting. I would lose all attraction for that person. NTA”
It’s time these two sat down and had a talk — and maybe figure out a new way to divide responsibilities. If one person is feeling resentful, it’s time to switch it up!
Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s most ridiculous grown children.