My mum’s desperate for me to leave my hubby but I’m refusing, so she’s begging to pay for his vasectomy…we’ve got 7 kids
AN UNEMPLOYED mum-of-seven has revealed how her own mother keeps begging to pay for her husband’s vasectomy.
Dan and Janna are a college-educated couple who have been married for 15 years with seven children – Destiny, 14, Jeda, 13, Tahila, 11, Jubile, 9, Jericho’s, 7, Mercy, four, and Zakira, one.
However, they have no income, no heat, no running water and they are about to lose their house.
Appearing on US TV show Dr Phil, Dan, who has a degree in business administration, says: “The water’s been shut off, the gas has been shut off, and this house is in foreclosure because I don’t have a job.”
Dan’s had eight failed businesses but the couple believe that their harsh lifestyle is God’s will, and they are being led by the Lord.
“My mum doesn’t like Dan at all because in her mind Dan doesn’t provide for his family,” says Janna, who has a college degree in Communications, in a clip shared on YouTube.
“I see my mum as controlling, and she judges us, but she doesn’t know all the facts. She believes she knows everything, and we basically don’t have a clue.”
But Janna’s mum, Carol, and stepdad, Rich have a rather different perspective on the situation.
“If I were in Janna’s place, I wouldn’t put up with it. I would have left him long ago,” she says.
“They’re living in a house with cement floors, they don’t have heating, they don’t have hot water – it’s an intolerable situation, in my opinion.”
Janna goes on to say that she doesn’t understand what the issue is with her mum and children.
“The first time I was pregnant, I was very excited about it,” Janna recalls.
“She said she wasn’t very happy. By the second or third child, we got letters, ‘You’ve got to get your tubes tied, don’t have any more kids.'”
Carol, who claims to be worried about her seven grandkids, admits: “Big mistake.
“I’ve offered to pay for a vasectomy for Dan, and it sounded like I was expecting him to get butchered, not to have a simple vasectomy.
“But I think what really lies underneath is, if it’s God’s will for us to have another child, we will.
“It just didn’t make any sense to me how someone could live the way she has to live and really love this other person.”
Janna says that while she’s “hardened” herself to it, every time she thinks about it it does make her feel “really sad” and “want to cry.”
She adds: “I would like my mother to acknowledge that, ‘Hey, wow, my daughter’s been through a lot.’ But it’s always, ‘You have too many kids, you guys are struggling, you must be idiots.’
Carol goes on to question how somebody like that could survive with so many children.
Appearing on the talk show, Dr Phil asks Janna whether her mum is “crossing the boundary” and getting involved where she doesn’t belong.
She says that the more “hurtful” part is the “controlling issue,” adding: “Over the years since we got married, I’ve gotten hurtful letter after hurtful letter. But never any words of, ‘Atta girl, you know?”
The first time I was pregnant, I was very excited about it. She said she wasn’t very happy. By the second or third child, we got letters, ‘You’ve got to get your tubes tied, don’t have any more kids
Janna
Janna goes on to discuss her mum’s wish for her to leave her husband, but notes “there’s no way” because of her faith and everything that goes along with it, she wouldn’t just leave Dan when “things get hard.”
But according to Carol, a mother’s first line of duty is to her children, and she claims her daughter’s kids are “suffering” because of this man.
However, retaliating against the allegations, Dan, who is college-educated but unemployed, claims: “How could you know when you never come over, we never talk, and we’ve never had one hour of meaningful conversation the time we’ve known each other?”
Dr Phil also points out that Carol and Rich have given the couple over £39k ($50,000), which is basically their retirement fund, to pay for their entire rent from January through to the following January.
After a failed attempted to launch a business, which he says “didn’t go as good as I thought,” Dr Phil questions Dan, asking why he didn’t get a job in the meantime to provide for his family.
“I am not unwilling to go get a job,” he says.
“And in fact, when I have put out resumes to get a job, you know, there’s been one time where I did, but mostly it seems like I’m led in a different direction.
“Without responses from being able to get a job. So then I’ve taken that as leading of the Lord, what I should do. I’m taking steps and he’s directing my path.”
He goes on to add that the family’s situation at the moment is “very liveable” and that they don’t always need to rely on money.
“I can rely on my resources, what I have, what I can work with to get things done,” Dan insists.
“The heating got shut off, we used the fireplace, the water got shut off and we needed to flush the toilets….
“Well, I’ve already saved over 7,000 gallons of rainwater and I plugged that drain over there so the water couldn’t escape that way, and this acts as a waterfall and fills this up.”