March Madness: Sweet 16 preview just for you — no extra charge

You know who are the absolute best?

Readers.

“Jeez, Greenberg,” one of them wrote this week, “you call yourself a sportswriter?”

Well, I don’t like to brag, but …

“Only seven teams in the Sweet 16?” he went on. “That is unsatisfactory.”

Oh, that. Tell me about it. My published bracket this year might as well have been filled out by a blobfish or a flying lemur or even an ironic hipster. What, you expected better?

But the Sweet 16 round is here, and I’m feeling a hot streak coming on. Or maybe it’s just that blobfish sandwich I ate. Either way, here’s the way I’m seeing it:

EAST (BOSTON)

1 UConn vs. 5 San Diego State

The facts: 6:39 p.m. Thursday, TBS.

One question: How big of a factor is revenge? The Aztecs (27-10) lost to UConn 76-59 in last year’s championship game, but they have six players still going at it who played key roles on that team and in that game. The Huskies (34-3) have only three. Last year’s decisive 16-2 Huskies run started less than four minutes into a game that became kind of a snoozer. The rematch should be more competitive.

He said it: “We’re bulletproof. Elite offense. Elite defense.” —UConn coach Dan Hurley

Pick: UConn, 75-66.

3 Illinois vs. 2 Iowa State

The facts: 9:09 p.m. Thursday, TBS, 890-AM.

One question: Get high or stay low? The Illini (28-8) have been living in the 80s and 90s lately and hitting opponents with runs that make it feel a lot like 1989 or 2005. The Cyclones (29-7) live to play defense and have held 10 straight teams to 65 or fewer. Tamin Lipsey is ISU’s best defender, but he’s only 6-1 and has to guard somebody — Terrence Shannon Jr. and Marcus Domask check in at 6-6 each.

He said it: “To sit here and say I’m happy with making the Sweet 16, it’s not what I want to say. I want to be happy with winning a national championship.” —Illinois senior Coleman Hawkins

Pick: Illinois, 76-73.

WEST (LOS ANGELES)

6 Clemson vs. 2 Arizona

The facts: 6:09 p.m. Thursday, CBS 2.

One question: Is this where Arizona Arizonas? In one tournament after since the Wildcats (27-8) last made the Elite Eight in 2015, they’ve been knocked out by a lesser seed. The Tigers (23-11) don’t have anyone who scores as smoothly as Caleb Love or drops jaws athletically like Keshad Johnson, but they have momentum and mojo and fans wearing chef’s hats, which has to count for something.

He said it: “You start seeing somebody wearing a chef hat, I kind of assumed it was for myself.” —Clemson forward Ian Schieffelin (pronounced CHEF-lin)

Pick: Arizona, 74-68.

1 North Carolina vs. 4 Alabama

The facts: 8:39 p.m. Thursday, CBS 2.

One question: Which Alabama is this? The Crimson Tide (23-11) lost to every opponent with more than a faint pulse — Ohio State, Clemson, Purdue, Creighton, Arizona — early on. Then they shredded the SEC, topping the standings for nearly two months. But then they lost four of six, giving up 117, 105 and 102 in three of those losses. The Tar Heels (29-7) have been steadily excellent.

He said it: “We’re going to ride [RJ Davis’] back the remainder of the season. But I wouldn’t want to ride anybody’s back other than RJ’s.” —UNC coach Hubert Davis

Pick: UNC, 83-81.

SOUTH (DALLAS)

11 NC State vs. 2 Marquette

The facts: 6:09 p.m. Friday, CBS 2.

One question: Business or pleasure? The Golden Eagles (27-9) are doing the act-like-you’ve-been-here routine, keeping their eyes on a bigger prize. The Wolfpack (24-14) are playing with stolen house money and waving it around like they just don’t care. What a fun group, no one more so than the rotund dancing bear of a big man, DJ Burns Jr.

He said it: “We know what’s at stake. This isn’t a time to be joking around.” —Marquette star Tyler Kolek

Pick: NC State, 79-75.

1 Houston vs. 4 Duke

The facts: 8:39 p.m. Friday, CBS 2.

One question: Is Duke really built for this? Yes, the Blue Devils (26-8) have had a fairly strong season, but they’ve intimidated no one along the way. How hard are Kyle Filipowski and Mark Mitchell prepared to fight for this one? Because the Cougars (32-4) will be in their faces from the second the game starts.

He said it: “Our kids are tough, man. We’ve got tough kids.” —Houston coach Kelvin Sampson

Pick: Houston, 67-54.

MIDWEST (DETROIT)

1 Purdue vs. 5 Gonzaga

The facts: 6:39 p.m. Friday, TBS.

One question: Can Zach Edey keep avoiding foul trouble? The 7-4 superstar last had four fouls in a game in mid-February and hasn’t fouled out all season. If he gives the Boilermakers (31-4) 30-plus minutes, it’s going to test the Bulldogs (27-7) far more than Hunter Dickinson and Kansas did in the last round. The Boilers were sensational against Utah State, winning 106-67.

He said it: “There’s no satisfaction. I didn’t come back to make the Sweet 16.” —Purdue superstar Zach Edey

Pick: Purdue, 81-71.

3 Creighton vs. 2 Tennessee

The facts: 9:09 p.m. Friday, TBS.

One question: Dalton Knecht or Baylor Scheierman? The 6-6 Knecht has been the higher-profile player all season for the Vols (26-8), but the 6-7 Scheierman has been almost as productive as a scorer — and arguably better all around — for the Bluejays (25-9). Athletes: Vols. Elite Eight experience: Jays, just last year.

He said it: “We came here to win this tournament.” —Tennessee coach Rick Barnes

Pick: Tennessee, 69-68.