Our SSS White Sox predictions 2024: Turn and cough

Now it’s time for the scary stuff, as 16 staffers take a stab at soothsaying how sucky the Sox should be

Once more, as it will undoubtedly be the final time in my life to type these words, let’s make it plain that the lead author of this story is the Returning Champion, as we begin another year of South Side Sox predictions.

At publication time roughly 24 hours before the White Sox season got underway, 16 of us at South Side Sox risked mockery and embarrassment to enter our thoughts on the horrors that await us in 2024. Well, await the White Sox, at least. But that’s coming mostly in a companion story.

If you’d rather listen than read, c’mon try harder, but OK we did a podcast about these picks as well.

All right, let’s begin the horror show.

Can you believe that just a year ago, we had about a third of our writers picking a DIVISION TITLE for the White Sox? We have fallen so far, so fast.

Total Wins
This year, the highest wins estimate is 67, and half of the predictions have the White Sox being worse than their 100-loss season in 2023.

The consensus is one loss more than 2023, at 61-101. Most optimistic is Adrian Serrano at 67, with Sunshine Brian O’Neill right behind him, at 66. Most dour is Ryiiin’s pick of a franchise-record 111 losses — although Brett also sees a record-breaking year, with 108 defeats.

Hitting the exact consensus was Chrystal O’Keefe, as optimistic as all get-out, picking a 61-101 season.

Division Race
Not too much to discuss here given the White Sox will not be in the division race in 2024, but there is something interesting revealed in the lose-by picks. Adrian Serrano foresees an 88-win ALC champion, Ryiin a winner at 83 victories — and Ashley Sanders blows right past them both and picks a 78-win title team! (Guessing Ashley’s might have been a counting error, but it’s fun to address when there’s nothing happy to discuss on the South Side.)

Player MVP
It’s Luis Robert Jr.’s to lose, with Yoán Moncada and Eloy Jiménez in the mix. Moncada was actually our consensus choice in 2023, so it’s been a race among these three for two years now.

Pitcher MVP
With Dylan Cease gone, the field here gets crazy. With just four votes, Opening Day starter Garrett Crochet and rehab artiste Michael Soroka are the consensus winners. It’s notable that in a tie for third in this race is No One (two votes).

Best Rookie
Last year, Óscar Colás was the landslide choice, and look where it got us. Dominic Fletcher wins out here, perhaps as he’s the only rookie assured of significant playing time (uh-oh, more Colás logic). But reliever Jordan Leasure and starter Nick Nastrini, gems of the Lance Lynn deal last summer, get significant support.

Worst Player
On the flip side, sheer starts can also assure Worst status, and Martín Maldonado seems assured of getting plenty as the backstop starter. Overall, five players saw “support” here.

Worst Pitcher
The “game time” theory here holds as well, with Bryan Shaw the consensus winner (did you know he pitched in nearly half of the games he was on the White Sox roster in 2023? It only seemed like 100%). Notable that Touki Toussaint, released by the club but now settled in Triple-A Charlotte, saw significant support as well.

All-Stars
Ha! Some folks here (Malachi Hayes, Brian, Adrian, what’s up) think the White Sox will have two All-Stars this July. As pointed out on the podcast the better question would be which is more likely, the White Sox with zero All-Stars (due to injury) or two?

OK, you’ve seen all our sad White Sox picks for 2024. What are some of yours?

Please share your predictions in the comments below.

See ya next year. Hopefully, there will be more sunshine.