Kennedy for President!

I always wanted to cast a Kennedy vote.

Whatever you think about John F. Kennedy, if you belong to a certain cohort, it left a hole in your heart when he was gunned down by a sociopath, possibly a KGB sleeper, on that awful day in Dallas in 1963. And you know in your heart that the country never recovered, even if you know in your head that the Great Republic’s ups and downs are not all due to that trauma and might have happened anyway, for their roots and causes preceded Camelot. Moreover, in its short time, Camelot addressed the challenges of the times less with sensible policy orientations and legislation than with symbolic gestures and soaring rhetoric.

Yet ye knew you’d never resist a ticket with two such names as these, Kennedy–Shanahan. Now then, lads, cheer our gallant hero, all together, Mo Ghile Mear.

Maybe this is all sentimental bosh, and, in fact, you did resist the temptation. Edward Kennedy was surely as much a son of the titan Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. as were his fallen brothers and a fair grandson to the storied Honey Fitz, but to vote for him against the dour Jimmy Carter in ’80, let alone against the upbeat Ronald Reagan — no way.

Lion of the Senate was flattery more than earned respect, if the aim of lion-hood was to lead the Senate into such catastrophic “reforms” as the immigration act of 1965 (“This bill will not flood our cities,” spake he) and the queering of presidential appointments by means of the mendacious tactic of “borking,” which not only deprived the Supreme Court of Judge Robert Bork but also contributed to a form of partisanship that Sen. Joe Biden enabled as chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee and from which we suffer still.

But Bobby, now, there’s a lad fit to be a hero, and Kennedy–Shanahan, so lovely a lilt the ticket sounds, and such a lovely lass be she! Can you even compare Biden–Harris to that? You cannot. I once thought a logical move for the Dems would be something along the lines of Shapiro–Demings, a balanced ticket if ever there were one, but they did not listen to me, and anyway they are too anti-Jewish and anti-Black, so it’s a non-starter.

And for extra value, consider that a green ticket on the ballot will force the right-wingers to balance theirs, and we could get an orange-green one, were the presumptive nominee to show enough class to make it up with Gen. John F. Kelly and invite him to join him “once more into the breach, dear friends, once more.” Admittedly, Kelly has reason to hesitate, so the apology would have to be very sincere and public, but would this not enhance the presumptive second termer in the eyes of those doubting his ability to show contrition?

If they are worried about the woman vote, why, they can urge the candidate to pick a staunch Taft Republican and eminent jurist, Mrs. Maureen O’Connor. Then, in the classy self-deprecating style of JFK, they could borrow from some well-known lyrics of Anthony Murphy’s about the child of a mixed marriage that makes him orange as well as green.

Let it not be said politics cannot regain its energy and humor. Or that there are no second acts in American life. And still I dream of Jack Kennedy, and, like all true friends of R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., I have regularly lifted my glass at the local bar and joined him in those cruel sad yet brave hopeful verses of our youth: “Don’t let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment, that was known as Camelot.”

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