Beyoncé Gets Custody of Miley Cyrus (and Blue Jeans the Horse?)

The Cyrus family might be in shambles, but Miley Cyrus has two country stars who can take her in and a horse to giddyap with. Dolly Parton and Beyoncé … and Old Blue Jeans? Parton’s goddaughter appears on made-for-radio cut “II Most Wanted,” off the second act of Beyoncé’s album trilogy, Cowboy Carter. (Parton herself stars in the album’s radio interludes and introduces a fiery “Jolene” cover.) The pair’s twangy, down-tempo duet tells the story of young lovers as they mosey down the highway, vowing to never leave the other’s side. “Know we’re jumpin’ the gun, but we’re both still young / One day we won’t be,” Cyrus sings at the beginning of the track. Their voices come together in the chorus, promising “I’ll be your shotgun rider ’til the day I die / Smoke out the window, flyin’ down the 405 / I’ll be your back-seat baby, drivin’ you crazy / Anytime you like.”

According to the album’s press release, Beyoncé began work on the album in 2019, which is a year after Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth divorced. If this was “Flowers”-era conspiracy theorizing, we’d say Cyrus’s wistful tone could be a result of her split. Someone on the internet took it much farther and joked that Beyoncé helped Cyrus recover Blue Jeans after Hemsworth took him during the messy divorce, later repaying Beyoncé by lending the horse for the Cowboy Carter cover. In reality, the horse is apparently named Chardonneigh. The relationship between the horses — and the pop stars — remains a mystery.