FYI, the ‘x’ in Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Is Silent

Every so often, you get an email that makes you stand up, go to a window, and stare outside for an indeterminate amount of time, wondering what choices have led you to this place. A message from an old friend with whom you lost touch, a sobering medical diagnosis, another report about how our world is steadily dying. And most recently: the directive from publicity teams handling Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, informing journalists that the “x” in the film’s name is silent when said out loud. “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is how it is written; Godzilla Kong The New Empire is how it is said.” This is what the Hollow Earth has wrought, I guess — hollow letters.

Movie titles have long been on a drastic slide toward nomenclature incomprehensibility. What goes into deciding when a Fast & Furious film goes by “F,” “Fast,” or “Furious”? Why was the second Mission: Impossible film “2” and the third “III”? But while the reasoning for these choices is probably nonsensical, at least they don’t challenge us phonetically. You see the words in the film’s name, you say the words in the film’s name, and now you’ve said the film’s name. It’s easy!

This is not the case, apparently, with Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. Fine, let’s accept this. So how are you supposed to say the film’s name? What’s the cadence, what’s the rhythm? Does the colon before The New Empire necessitate a pause? Does that mean there’s no pause between Godzilla and Kong? Are we supposed to emphasize their names with the exact same amount of effort because the film is about them both? Or does Godzilla get more oomph because he got a whole lead-up show about the hunt to find him? Should we replace the “x” with a slash and get some Godzilla and Kong fan fiction going? Where does this all end?! 

Please send Ethan Hunt and Dominic Toretto to fetch me from this window. Thanks.