My wife is sure my sister and cousin make jokes about her behind her back

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife is adamant that both my sister and cousin make jokes about her behind her back.

She believes they were texting each other when we all got together recently.

We have argued about it continuously since then, with my wife accusing me of never believing her after I insisted they wouldn’t do such a thing.

I’m 42 and my wife’s 39.

We’ve been married for 15 years and have two daughters aged seven and five.

My wife had trust issues when we first got together.

She’d been cheated on by a previous boyfriend.

It took a long time to gain her trust.

My wife’s started distancing herself from my family and nothing I say will change her mind.

I’m close to my sister and my cousin, so I’m finding this very difficult.

My sister thinks my wife is being paranoid.

This is so upsetting because my wife always regarded my sister and cousin as her two close friends.

My wife flies off the handle when I try to talk to her and accuses me of undermining her.

I’m truly at a loss and don’t know how to deal with this.

I worry it could be the end of our relationship as I am not prepared to cut out my family for some-thing that I am convinced did not happen.

DEIDRE SAYS: A partner as insecure and jealous as your wife is hard work but divorce must be the last option.

Being dismissive of her fears just plays into them.

Her feelings are real enough, even if your sister and cousin are innocent.

When your wife is anxious, hug her and tell her you love her.

But your wife also needs to make an effort to handle her insecurity better.

Her jealousy doesn’t spring from someone else’s behaviour but from her own insecurities.

My support pack Coping With Jealousy will help you beat this problem together.