I left my husband for my lover but he’s still with his wife and now we barely meet up
DEAR DEIDRE: Before we got married, my husband made me choose between him and a co-worker.
I chose him, but my friend was never far from my thoughts.
Three years on and although we are both married, my colleague and I are enjoying an intense affair.
I suppose that our liaison was inevitable.
When my husband proposed I thought of my friend and even on my wedding day, my mind was on him.
Since then my co-worker told me if he’d known how I felt about him, he would never have proposed to his girlfriend or bought her a ring.
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I always felt my lover was someone special. He is 33, as is my husband, and I’m 31.
During my first year of marriage I actively avoided my colleague but one day our departments sent us on the same training day and all my feelings came flooding back.
It killed me inside when he said he was engaged. Still we’d text just to catch up.
He never left my mind.
Then we began working similar shifts so we began to flirt, hug and kiss.
He confided in me that things weren’t good in his marriage.
He kept saying that if I left my marriage, he’d leave his wife.
We couldn’t keep apart and the sex was awesome.
My relationship broke down and I have since moved out of our home but my colleague became very hit and miss.
He said his wife was making an effort and although it confused him, he wanted us to continue.
He texts far less and we’ve barely met up.
His wife is more affectionate but he says he still thinks about me.
The last time we spoke he said he thinks he’s going to stay with his wife because she’s really trying.
I haven’t seen him outside of work for three weeks.
He’s broken me.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He had no intentions of leaving his wife – at least not while he was having the best of both worlds.
You fell for him but he’s made it clear he’s not going to commit to you.
Shed your tears over him but then make a determined effort to move on.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free? will help you think this through.
Concentrate on improving your social life.
There are plenty of great guys who are unattached.
Find one who is worthy of your love and who wants the same as you.