My lesbian friend told me that when we go away we are going to spend the night together – but I’m straight

DEAR DEIDRE: A WOMAN I’ve been friends with for many years has told me that when we go away we are going to sleep together.

I am a 34-year-old man.

My friend is 32 and a lesbian.

I am a drummer in a band and we usually perform gigs in local pubs.

We have a gig coming up in a month’s time which is 100 miles away.

My friend often comes to watch and support our band and I really appreciate her support.

However, when she has had a few drinks a different side of her comes out.

She came to a gig recently with another girl.

Later in the evening we spent a lot of time talking and flirting with one another and I ended up getting intimate with her while her date was there.

My friend then told me that when we go away we are going to spend the night together.

I like her but I don’t know what to do.

DEIDRE SAYS: Even women who strongly identify as lesbians can find themselves attracted to men.

She’s built up a deep emotional connection with you.

It’s presumptuous of her to assume you want to have sex with her.

Don’t go along with what she wants, just to please her, especially if she is seeing someone else.

Talk to her when she is sober.

If you know this is not what you want, tell her you are flattered but this is not for you.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you.