Tori Spelling Reveals What Dean McDermott Said to Her That Ended Their Marriage, Explains the Reasons for Their Split
Tori Spelling broke her silence on her divorce from her husband of 18 years, Dean McDermott.
Divorce documents were filed last week.
On her misSPELLING podcast, the 50-year-old actress spoke out about the decision to divorce, what happened in their marriage, and what he said to her that ended things in her mind.
Keep reading to find out more…
“I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I just said the words that I’ve said in my head for, like, 16 years. Wild,” she said. “I’ve never felt more alone. I don’t feel worth loving. That’s the truth. And that’s something that’s just in you, it’s not something I wanted or created. That starts when you’re young. [And changing it], that’s not easy to do. … I don’t know if you can.”
She continued, “There’s this weird thing that I didn’t know about before that you have to be careful with your ex. It’s a he-said, she-said, who filed first. I had to file and go through the process and then once it was accepted and publicly posted, then I’m allowed to call and fill in my ex. So I just called Dean. He’s working and I have to tell him and I’m super nervous because I don’t like confrontation.”
She then called her ex and this is what was said on the air. We could not hear Dean on the other end, so this quote is Tori speaking to her estranged husband: “I feel like I deserve to file first, then. You basically put it all out there with the Daily Mail. You said everything that you’ve done to me all through the years. So I think it would make perfect sense that it’s followed up with I would file. Because those are things that I would never have divulged to somebody and you did.”
About what went wrong, Tori explained, “We had this very, quick, passionate falling in love period. I just remember I could show him me. It wasn’t like, the cute like, giggly, ‘this is what people want me to be.’ I was able to be like, ‘Loud and like ugh, body-type of Tori. I could have like, I could have a fowl mouth. I’m not just Donna Martin, the perfect good girl. I could have some bad girl in me and it was okay. And he liked all those sides and he liked how smart I was and accepted me.”
Tori added, “Honestly, our relationship was never the same after we started having kids. We always said, ‘We won’t be those parents that change. We’ll make sure we make our relationship a priority, the two of us. We have date nights.’ And everything went out the window. I became completely focused on the kids and kind of left him, in a way.”
She continued, “Our relationship definitely changed where I really felt like I was in this alone with the kids. And he was there, but he was an extra set of hands. He put the car seat in because I didn’t know how to do it and things like that. Emotionally, I was it. Like, ‘Tag, you’re it.’ I was the parent. And it was a lot of responsibility while also rebuilding a career — which I did. We became a family brand. I went from Hollywood rich girl… to like, cool mom. ‘Look at her. She does it all.’ Meanwhile, behind the scenes, it was all falling apart.”
She added, “I’m really good at taking blame so that someone can start to feel like they can open up. So yeah, I would say, ‘I do this, and I do that.’ Hoping he would be like, ‘Yeah, and I do this.’ But instead it was more focused on, ‘The dog s– all over the house. She has too many animals. She’s a hoarder. She’s messy.’ And I’m like, ‘Yup, yup, yup. That’s me.’”
Tori then spoke of his issues with alcohol.
She added, “When he would drink, it was hard because I knew that at some point, it would turn. And I knew… you know, it was always different. It could be 2 drinks, it could be 5, 6 drinks. And then I would just see it turn and I’m like, ‘Oh, here we go.’ And then that became my dance on the eggshells. No matter what I said it wasn’t right and I would have to, in my head be like, ‘Okay, quick quick quick on your toes.’”
“It was like a fight. A mental fight. I think he might aim here and if he aims here with what he says, I’m going to respond this way and it’ll take him down.’ And it got to the point where nothing would make sense and I would just know to stop talking. And that usually, just space and stop talking, it was hard,” Tori continued.
She then shared the comment she made just before their separation.
“He said, ‘Ugh, I’m so sick of this. I have been picking up Tori Spelling‘s sh-t for 18 years.’ And I f-king lost it,” she said.
This fight happened around June 17, 2023, which was listed as the official day that their relationship ended on the divorce documents.
Fans will remember that on that day the couple announced plans to separate. However, that same day Dean deleted the announcement.
They share five kids: Liam Aaron, 17, Stella Doreen, 15, Hattie Margaret, 12, Finn Davey, 11 and Beau Dean, 7.