Tori Spelling Candidly Revealed What Pushed Her to File for Divorce & Our Hearts Go Out to Her

While Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott‘s separation happened over nine months ago, the actress recently decided to take the next step and file for divorce. The decision, however, was far from easy.

Talking about the filing on her podcast, MisSpelling, the Beverly Hills 90210 alum revealed she was still coming to terms with it. “I just filed for divorce,” Spelling told listeners, per Entertainment Tonight. “Whoa, I just said the words that I’ve said in my head for, like, 16 years. Wild.”

Then, in a surprising next step, Spelling called her now-ex McDermott to deliver the news. “They’ve done it,” she said of her lawyers. “It’s the formality. It’s just the one sheet you check off, and next, you’ll have to sign it.”

While listeners weren’t let into McDermott’s side of the conversation, it seems like he questioned why she decided to file first. For Spelling, doing so was a no-brainer.

“I feel like I deserve to file first, then. You basically put it all out there with the Daily Mail,” she told her ex, referencing a recent interview with the outlet. “You said everything that you’ve done to me all through the years. So I think it would make perfect sense that it’s followed up with I would file. Because those are things that I would never have divulged to somebody and you did.”

In other words, McDermott’s over-sharing about their relationship, his longtime struggles with addiction and specifically their last fight together, crossed the line for Spelling.

“My worst memory with Tori is that last fight when I was drunk and angry,” McDermott told the outlet in November. “It was the night that I raged against her and the children and I saw the light, the final flicker of the flame go out in her eyes.”

But, despite her decision, it seems the exes are trying their best to continue getting along. “I love you,” Spelling said when she turned off the call.

After that, the actress opened up about how she’s feeling with her rocky relationship officially behind her. “I’ve never felt more alone,” she said. “I don’t feel worth loving.”

She even looked back at their relationship and their good times together. “Dean and I had this fairytale romance, even though we were both married when we met — not fairytale right there,” Spelling admitted, adding that their relationship “was never the same” after they had kids.

As a reminder, the former pair share kids Liam, 17, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 7.

And while their relationship may not have worked, we’re applauding them for keeping their communication open about it all, even in the toughest parts. Our hearts go out to both as they heal.

Before you go, click here for all the celebrity splits and divorces we never saw coming.