My husband is so boring so I’ve started an affair
DEAR DEIDRE: Everybody thinks I have the perfect life, but the truth is I’ve started a reckless affair because my husband is deadly boring.
I’m 42 and he is 43. We’ve been married for 15 years and have two children.
My husband is a good guy and a great dad. But he’s so dull.
He doesn’t like going out. All he wants to do is sit at home and watch TV.
He’s not interested in sex at all, and hasn’t been for years.
Even when we have ben intimate, it is over in a flash and I don’t orgasm.
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He’s so conservative that he would never try sex toys or any different positions.
Recently, I’ve started to notice how other men find me attractive. I look good for my age and often receive admiring glances from men, who also try to talk to me.
But at home I might as well be invisible. I want more from life — to go out to different places, to have some excitement and enjoy good sex.
So, when a colleague started flirting with me, I flirted back.
And a few weeks ago, we went out for a drink after work and ended up going back to his flat for sex. It was everything that I had imagined it could be — passionate, exciting and fulfilling.
We’ve slept together several times since then, and we are now growing closer.
I don’t know if there’s any future with him, but our affair has made me realise I have to get out of my marriage.
How do I tell my husband that we need to part?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You sound like you have made up your mind about leaving your husband.
Still, I would urge you to end your affair while you talk to him about how unhappy you have been and the fact you want to end your marriage.
Be honest but kind with him. It sounds like he may not be aware of how miserable you are and will be shocked.
Whether you ultimately split up or not, it would be better to focus properly on your family during this tumultuous time.
If you are still convinced a split is the right course, you need to think about how to make your family break-up as painless as possible for your kids.
My support packs Thinking Of Divorce and When Parents Fall Out will help.