My 4 cousins and I all have the same first name. We go by nicknames instead.
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- I'm from Argentina, where it's common to have two names.
- All my female cousins and I share the first name Maria.
- None of us go by it, and instead go by nicknames based on our middle names.
I was born in Argentina, where there are pretty strict rules on what you can name your child. The law dictates that people can't have more than three names, can't have last names as names, and can't be named exactly the same as a living sibling. No "extravagant" names are allowed. There's even a list of approved names people can name their kids, featuring traditional names like Adriana and Lourdes and religious names like Abraham and Adan.
I'm an only child and have seven cousins, four of whom are women. Because of tradition and potentially because the list of approved names was shorter when we were born in the 70s and 80s, we all share the same first name: Maria. However, we go by nicknames or variations of our middle names, which are all different.
I never went by my first name
Growing up, I never really heard my first name. My parents would only call me my full name if I was in trouble or if they were registering me for school. So I knew if I heard Maria out of their mouths, it meant serious business.
When I asked my parents why they chose to name me Maria and not use it, they said that my middle name felt strange without a different first name because everyone in their families had two names. They are also Catholic — as many people are in Argentina — and I'm sure religion played a part when choosing a first name.
Also, both my parents have unusual first names, which they don't go by — and make an effort for others not to know of — so picking a common name likely made sense to them based on their own names.
We all have the same first name
By coincidence, my two aunts also decided to name their daughters Maria. So my cousins and I are: Maria Cecilia, Maria Carolina, Maria Constanza, Maria Julieta, and Maria Eugenia.
Because Maria is such a common name, and usually used in combination with another name, we all go by variations of our middle names. People know us as Ceci, Caro, Conz, Juli, and Malú.
I didn't think much of it growing up, and it wasn't until I had children of my own that I realized how odd it is for all of us to have the same name.
When I asked my family how they felt about it, they didn't find it weird; they just considered it part of our cultural tradition.
I'm confused when people call me by my first name
I moved to the US over a decade ago, and I'm still confused when I'm called Maria at the doctor's office or on official papers. The first time I had an appointment for my yearly check-up, the nurse kept calling me Maria, and I kept not reacting because that's how little I identify with my first name.
People are always surprised when I tell them that the name I go by is just a nickname. Since my middle name is long and of Spanish origin, it can be hard for English speakers to pronounce or spell it properly, so I use a shorter version. Also, my nickname feels more like me than my actual middle name.
When it came to naming kids with my husband, we chose short and unique first names, and traditional Spanish middle names. That way, our children can decide what to go by instead of just following tradition.