Is it friends with benefits when I’m paying?

DEAR DEIDRE: As long as my wife doesn’t become suspicious, I’ve decided having sex with another woman is the way to find relief.

I’m 42 and my wife’s 39. We’ve been together for 15 years and have two boys, aged eight and six.

My wife’s not interested in having sex. This has been a problem ever since we got married and had kids. I’ve tried talking to her numerous times. She says she’s not in the mood or not interested.

So I’ve met a woman online. She wants me sexually and is willing to travel to see me. She’s suggested I buy gift cards so she can buy things for her children.

She’s going to book a hotel room. I said I’ll meet when she sends a room confirmation so I know it’s genuine.

DEIDRE SAYS: It may seem tempting but please don’t do this. Cheating won’t solve anything and could destroy your family life.

Talk honestly to your wife. What has changed since she last enjoyed sex?

Tell her how this lack of intimacy is making you feel and that your relationship is at risk.

Ask her to discuss what you can both do to improve your relationship and in turn your sex life.

My support pack Understanding Female Pleasure may help.

It doesn’t matter how you or this other woman dress it up, paying for sex is prostitution.