40 Tweets About The Absurdity Of Packing School Lunches For Kids
The parents of X (formerly Twitter) love to describe the fulfilment and delight of using dinosaur-shaped cookie cutters to make fun sandwiches and filling multicolored muffin cups with fresh-sliced fruits and veggies — each accompanied by a delectable homemade dip. Naturally, their children eat every bite, leaving their lunchboxes spotless and empty, and, upon arrival home, they declare, “Lunch was so delicious, Mom, I’ll take care of making dinner for you tonight!”
Just kidding!
These are real parents. Below, enjoy their funny tweets about packing lunches for kids.
There is one food left that my kid will still eat for school lunch and I live in terror of the day she announces that she’s sick of it
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 8, 2024
7-year-old: I packed my own lunch.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 13, 2019
Me: Did you remember a sandwich?
7: Oreos count.
Me, first week of school: I packed you a healthy lunch.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 13, 2021
Me, one month later: They’re serving mini-corn dogs & pudding, you want school lunch today?
The school lunches I send my kids deteriorate throughout the week. Monday's lunch is pretty solid, but everything starts going downhill pretty fast. By Friday, they get an apple and some bread if there's bread left.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 19, 2023
7: mama, I will eat everything you pack in my lunch
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 13, 2023
me: that’s wonderful
7: except the things I don’t like
me: there it is
Let’s play a game of “Why Did Part Of My Child’s Lunch Come Back Home Uneaten Today?” Choose one:
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 28, 2020
A. “I didn’t have time to finish”
B. “I didn’t notice that was in there”
C. “It got soggy/brown/warm/cold”
D. “I don’t like [insert food] anymore even though I loved it 2 days ago"
My school lunches- Sandwich, apple, granola bar, water
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) September 7, 2021
My first graders lunch- ramen, maki roll, fresh berries, apple sauce, cheese cubes, boiled egg, homemade pickles.
7: at lunch yesterday, someone asked me to trade my KitKat for a granola bar but I told her no. I know what I have.
— Marissa ???????? (@michimama75) August 30, 2023
Just put a ziplock bag of cocktail weenies in my kid’s lunch. Happy day after the Super Bowl.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2018
Sometimes, I’m making my kids cute little sandwiches with pretzel Mickey Mouse ears and blueberry noses, mad sometimes they’re getting a cookie and two Tic Tacs for lunch.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) April 15, 2021
Balance.
I love my kids, but good lord, do I need to pack a lunch for them every day or can they just forage at recess or something?
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) September 13, 2021
Responding to my friends being honest: "Man, I appreciate you."
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 20, 2020
Responding to my kids being honest: "Man, can't you lie about lunch being good just for today??"
[School Morning Routine]
— The Baby Lady (@thebabylady7) October 9, 2018
6:00 Wake, make lunches
6:30 Wake kids
6:45 Breakfast
7:00 Start yelling
7:15 begin to panic
7:20 Totally freaking out now
7:30 look for socks, everyone is crying
7:35 Leave
7:45 threaten to pull over
8:00 arrive at school (KID: “I forgot my lunch”)
No thanks, "30 adorable lunch ideas for back to school."
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 7, 2017
1st week of school: *lovingly packs kid’s lunch with a note*
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 26, 2019
2nd week of school: *packs kid’s favorite sandwich with a kiss on the cheek at drop off*
27th week of school: *hurls a Little Debbie cake at my kid’s head and screams “you too!” When I meant “I love you.”
I love going to another parent at my preschool's fancy, organized house and being like "I should get MY life together!" and then the next day sending my child to school in mismatched shoes, a PJ shirt, with mini marshmallows as a side in his lunch because ran out of real food.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 21, 2022
I don’t need Pinterest school lunch ideas. I need “Oh the bus is here” school lunch ideas.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 14, 2022
My kids don’t usually want ANY of the meals I make, unless, of course, that meal is a lunch left at home & they can get the exact same fuggin sandwich from the school cafeteria or the mediocre PB&J that would force me to drop everything & deliver it. Then they NEED it NOW.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 3, 2021
In an Apple standoff with my kid. I keep sending an Apple in her lunch and she keeps bringing it home.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 18, 2022
Don’t act like you’re too good to use the bread ends and turn them inside out when making your kids lunch so they won’t know. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us little people.
— Maryfairyboberry????????♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 27, 2019
Day 1 school lunch: carrots, ham and cheese sandwich (cut in triangles), clementine (peeled), snow peas, cheese stick, chilled water, handwritten note
— Courtney Ellis ???? (@courtneyellis) August 27, 2019
Day 117 school lunch: clementine (bruised), water bottle from 2008 discovered under passenger seat, half a box of Cheez-Its
I see your meal prepped, farm fresh, animal, plant and fossil friendly, environmentally conscious, homemade, gluten, and grain free lunch in the bag you knitted before the sun rose this morning for little AidenKaden and raise you one half stale PB&J on a hotdog bun.
— Maryfairyboberry????????♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 4, 2019
Not to brag but my daughter ate the fruit I packed in her lunch today. pic.twitter.com/cCRocEkbpl
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 19, 2024
My kid’s school called saying he was refusing to eat because I accidentally sent his sister’s lunch. I explained that every single thing inside was exactly the same, so he sat down and ate. Haha no I'm kidding, he had to miss recess because he tried to throw it out a window.
— The Dad (@thedad) August 22, 2023
What my 2yo eats out of his packed lunch at school has absolutely no correlation to what he will eat at home and I just want an explanation.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 21, 2022
I slept in so I was running late this morning and while I was upstairs getting dressed, the 5yo decided to help by making her own lunch for school.
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) March 30, 2023
Graham crackers and tic tacs. You guys, she packed graham crackers and tic tacs. ugghhIlovehersomuuuuuuuch
The school emailed don’t pack a lunch on Monday cause it’s pizza day and I haven’t felt this high since college.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 12, 2023
Other moms: I only pack my child an environmentally friendly bento box of high protein charcuterie for lunch.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) March 8, 2019
Me: OMG me too! We call it a Lunchable.
I miss the days of the wild school lunch trade market. You go to school with one thing, and act like a frenzied day trader before sitting down to an entirely new lunch.
— The Dad (@thedad) February 3, 2021
I brought Gushers every day. Didn’t even like em, but I knew how much they were worth on the inside.
Fun Fact: It doesn’t matter how much love and effort you put into making your child’s school lunch every single day -
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) January 8, 2020
- they will remember, and repeatedly bring up in the company of others, the one fucking time you forgot it at home.
My 5yo wants me to send her a grilled cheese for lunch but she wants it to taste like I just made it when she eats it at school. Kids are really out here thinking we can perform miracles.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 16, 2022
My 12yo just told me he doesn’t want bagels for lunch anymore. We’re Jewish and live in Brooklyn. I don’t know where to go from here.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 4, 2021
One of my kids asked for more vegetables at lunch. I'll be writing a book. It's called:
— Ohio mom of two ????️????????️⚧️ #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) November 9, 2019
"Get Your Kids to Eat Vegetables!"
It's subtitled:
"PS this method won't work tomorrow"
My daughter got home from school today and looked me dead in the eye and said “your lunch was a 6/10 today” and I just…
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 14, 2023
My kid managed to very successfully scare me as we walked out the door for school and she asked, “you packed me a special Halloween lunch, right?”
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 31, 2022
It’s just not a big deal, said my clearly delusional husband when he switched the kid’s lunch boxes
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 14, 2021
My 12 year old son spent $12 on lunch today. What exactly is the school serving? Olive Garden??
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 14, 2022
My kid just gave the lunch I packed her a bad yelp review.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 16, 2023
8-year-old: You didn't pack chocolate in my lunch.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 14, 2019
Me: You don't need any.
8: What if there are dementors?
Me: *packs the chocolate*
When school ended I was like "YES, no more making lunches for my kids!" and then they were like "we still need you to feed us lunch every day" and I was like WTF
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 7, 2022