My husband is ruining our relationship with his poor financial decisions and I worry about the future
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is hopeless with money, and it is ruining our relationship.
He keeps borrowing money from me, which he never pays back, and I feel anxious and resentful.
I’m 38, he’s 40 and we have been married for seven years.
I knew he had lots of credit card debts when we met but he has a good job, and I thought he had sorted it.
Yet every few weeks, he asks me to lend him money for essentials like petrol.
He promises to pay me back, but never quite manages to.
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The other day, I totted up everything I had lent him over the past year, and it came to over a thousand pounds.
He does pay his share of the mortgage and bills, and for food – when he can – but I don’t know what he does with his salary.
It is eating into my savings. He has no savings at all.
I lie awake at night worrying about the future.
But when I try talking to him about it, he gets defensive and I feel bad.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband isn’t being fair or frank with you.
If he has debts you don’t know about, or a secret spending habit, he needs to tell you, so you can sort this out together.
Sit him down and say you need to talk. Ask him to be honest and say you want to help him budget.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help you have this conversation.
My packs on Family Finances and Solving Debt Problems should also be helpful.