Advice: How to get a picky eater to eat? Someone in Chicago asks

Dear Ismael,

I have an 18-month-old who used to eat everything offered before he was 1. We offered purées as well as some solids and when he turned 1, he suddenly didn’t enjoy eating the foods anymore.

For example, I would make my son chicken pasta and he loved it. Then one day, he decided he wanted nothing to do with it. I am stuck on what to feed him, especially if we are out of town. He has a few safe foods, which we always have available, but he isn’t willing to try new foods. What do I do?

— Challenged in Oak Park

Dear Challenged,

As a first-time parent in the '80s — without the internet or knowledge on who to go to for professional help — my mom struggled with my sister not eating certain foods and was concerned with her nutrition. Her trick was to sneak food into milk she knew my sister would drink, kind of like milkshakes. She even made scrambled egg milkshakes. Not the most appetizing for me, but good for her for cracking the system.

For more reliable and modern advice, I reached out to Laura Henehan, a speech-language pathologist at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago with a specialty in feeding and swallowing therapy.

“One of the biggest things that we tell parents is that picky eating is a normal developmental milestone,” Henehan said. “Just like how kids have to learn how to walk and talk, kids have to learn how to eat and there's a lot of sensory information that comes with eating.”

To understand more about what parents can do to facilitate the picky eating experience, she shared some professional insight:

Don’t overwhelm toddlers, let them explore

When eating together, don't cook something specifically for them or a meal different from yours. Modify your meal to meet the child's needs. Do that by deconstructing the food into something that makes sense to them. Henehan recommends plates that have different slots.

The plates are good to have out while y'all are just chilling. Even if the children are just playing with the food, let them explore — how does food look, feel and taste? — at their own pace and on their own terms. Small amounts and a slot with their favorite food helps.

Also, remember social language happens during mealtime, so watch your words. If they reach for your spoon and you tell them "no," they might interpret that negative word toward food.

What is normal, cause for concern?

It's common for children to refuse or have preferences for different foods for a short period of time. You should seek professional help if the picky eating becomes a medical concern, Henehan said. That can be when your child is losing weight, has trouble gaining weight, gets sick frequently, has trouble chewing foods or coughs and chokes while eating.

Talk to a pediatrician first, and then see a speech pathologist or an occupational therapist if needed.

When does it get easier?

If you're planning to grow your family, more children might help distract you from being the perfect parent.

"When you have your second child, your first child is running around and you don't have time to focus on what they're doing," Henehan said. "Which actually can benefit the younger child because they're left to explore the foods."

If one child is enough, it can get easier as they grow and become more social. Eating around others in a relaxed environment can also help them get curious about other food.

"The most important thing is to not compare yourself to others because every kid goes through these milestones at a different pace. Kids learn to walk and talk faster than others, some learn about food faster than others," Henehan said. "Try and keep eating as positive as possible. Even if it seems like it's a really, really bad day."

Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.