It’s clear King Charles’ cancer has changed him – his emotional meeting with fellow patients reminds me of Diana
‘Cancer didn’t bring me to my knees,’ said Hollywood star Michael Douglas after he survived oral cancer a few years ago, ‘it brought me
to my feet.’
I thought of that inspiring quote when I saw King Charles making his
comeback public engagement on Tuesday.
He almost danced out of his state Bentley, beaming happily, and
sporting his favourite Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur pattern tie.
I suspect the tie wasn’t an accidental fashion statement: the T-Rex was known as the king of the dinosaurs, and one of the toughest, most durable creatures in history, only rendered extinct by a massive asteroid hitting Planet Earth.
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Charles was clearly absolutely delighted to be back out and about
again, with his beloved loyal wife Queen Camilla at his side, doing
the job he loves.
And it was perfectly fitting that he chose London’s world-famous
Macmillan Cancer Centre to reappear on the public stage, given that
he himself has spent the past few months being treated for cancer.
The first part of the visit was very much royal business as usual, as he posed for photographers, waved at waiting crowds, and went inside to greet cheering staff.
But it was when he met fellow cancer sufferers upstairs as they sat
in armchairs for their chemotherapy treatment that I realised
something profound had changed in our new Monarch.
I’ve been at numerous events with Charles over the years and his
interactions with the public have always been reasonably perfunctory.
He’ll exchange a quick word, or joke, maybe shake a hand or pose for
a photo, then swiftly move on.
He rarely stays with one person for more than 30 seconds or so.
But this looked and felt very different.
He spent significantly longer periods of time talking to the patients,
and with a far greater intensity and focus on what they said to him.
It wasn’t difficult to work out why: he’s in the same health boat
they’re all in, stuck in the same choppy and dangerous cancer ocean,
paddling for his life.
As Charles got up he suddenly took her hand in his and held it for several long seconds
Piers Morgan
Cancer is the greatest of levellers; it doesn’t care how rich,
famous, old, or privileged you are, it can strike anyone at any time.
And that has given the King and his people shared a raw and visceral
experience that he’s never had before now.
He sat with 63-year-old Lesley Woodbridge, in for her second round of chemo, and they had a lengthy conversation.
“How are YOU?” she asked, after he’d asked her about her own condition.
“Not too bad,” he replied. “It’s always a bit of a shock isn’t it,
when they tell you?”
She nodded knowingly.
Then, as Charles got up to move on a few minutes later, he suddenly
took her hand in his and held it for several long seconds.
It wasn’t his normal handshake, with his right hand.
He used his left hand, which seemed way more personal and intimate.
I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM SO AT EASE
And it was a profoundly moving moment between two people who’d never met before, and will almost certainly never meet again, but who felt instantly bonded because they’re both enduring a very tough physical, emotional and frightening time.
I can’t remember ever seeing Charles be so touchy-feely with the
public, but then he’s probably never felt so at one with regular
Britons.
There was even time for laughter, as he exchanged wry chuckles with a man who’d lost his hair from the chemo.
That man got the special left hand shake too.
As did many others.
There was a connection because he knew what it feels like
Patient who met Charles
And all the patients he met understood the significance of this
markedly more tactile approach.
“Charles held my hands for quite a while, and patted me on the
shoulder,” said one lady afterwards, “and I found myself also patting
him, and asking him how he was, and he said he’s getting there.
“So, there was a connection because he knew what it feels like to be a
patient and I know that he’s going through something.”
One of my best mates is very sadly suffering from brain cancer and
gets very irritated by well-intentioned people telling him to ‘keep
battling’ or asking him about his ‘journey’, or horror of horrors,
pondering about the ‘learnings’ he’s gained from his ordeal.
As he explained to me, he doesn’t have any choice about whether to
‘battle’ cancer, he’s on an endlessly grim ‘journey’, and the only
meaningful ‘learning’ he’s gleaned is that red wine tastes awful on
chemo.
CHARLES WAS ONE OF THEM
But what he has found incredibly helpful is speaking to others in his
situation, because only they can really know what he’s going through,
and how he’s feeling.
Looking at Charles during his hospital visit, I’m sure it’s been
exactly the same experience for him.
You can have all the family and friends in the world get cancer and
feel great sympathy for them, but only those who’ve had it themselves can properly understand the importance of empathy based on shared experience.
Suddenly, King Charles didn’t see the people he met as his subjects,
or mere commoners whose lives are hugely vastly detached from his
rarefied, palatial royal world.
He just saw them as fellow patients and cancer sufferers, people all
going through the same thing as him, with the same fears and worries, all having to face up to their mortality in the same way he’s now had to.
And that gave them a real, tangible, searingly honest emotional
connection which I’ve honestly never seen before between Charles and the public.
ECHOES OF DIANA
Ironically, it reminded me so much of his late ex-wife Princess Diana
who had such a natural, easy warmth with people.
There was also a higher purpose to Charles’s visit, and his accompanying announcement that he is to become Patron of Cancer
Research UK, a patronage previously held by his late great mother
Queen Elizabeth II.
He wants to use his own health crisis to make a real difference.
Several times, quite deliberately knowing the cameras were on him, he made a point of saying it’s so important that people get seen and
treated early enough to survive cancer.
This, the Palace has briefed to the media, is one of the main reasons he went public with his diagnosis – to raise awareness and make people see a doctor and get tested if they have any symptoms.
A DEEP BOND
“I appreciate what you’re doing,” said one male patient, “thank you
so much. We’ve all got to stick together!”
“Yes!” exclaimed Charles (who revealed to another patient that he was
going for more of his treatment later the same day.)
And he meant it.
I doubt the King has ever felt a deeper or more relatable bond with his people.
As he left, he met and exchanged gifts with two young children being treated for cancer at the hospital – Ellis, 11, and Della, 6 who has a brain tumour.
He put his hand comfortingly on Della’s shoulder and didn’t need to
say anything.
They’re in this together.