A Way Home: Homelessness is a moment in time, not an identity
By Shawn Morrissey, Vice President of Advocacy | Union Station Homeless Services
What do you most want people to know about you? What feels like the most important aspects of who you are as a person? If someone were to describe you, what are some of the identifiers that you’d most want noted?
For me, I’d want people to know that I was a good son. Not always, but mostly, and definitely when it counted.
When my mother fell ill, I did my best to take care of her. I was a good brother too. Sibling spats aside, I loved my younger brother with my whole heart. I’d want people to know that I love them. People. I love people. Even if I have never met you, I love you. I have a huge place in my heart for us human beings and how we continuously show up for each other.
I get endless joy and hope from witnessing that in us. I love music. So much. My life is rich and full of music. It is a constant companion. And books. I want people to know how important books and literature are to me. I am grateful for all the hard times I have navigated–the failures, even the trauma.
I regularly reflect on how I wouldn’t change a single thing, as it is the culmination of all of “that,” that has brought me to this. It has shaped and informed the person that I am. For the first time in my life, I fully appreciate who that person has become. That’s how I see myself. It’s how people who have taken the time to get to know me, also see me.
There are other things about me. It’s OK if you know those too. But they’re not the most important things or even the most interesting things about me. I had a problematic relationship with drugs and alcohol from the time I was 12 until I got sober at 40. I have three mental health diagnoses: anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depression.
Those things weren’t exactly predominant factors in my becoming homeless, although they did become the prominent identifiers of who I was perceived to be during that period.
When I was homeless, no one knew I was a writer, that I nerded out on sci-fi books, or that my favorite album was Voodoo by D’Angelo; that I loved my mother beyond measure and never missed her birthday or Mother’s Day. That I cried during movies. And that what I longed for most was connection.
To love and to be loved. All of those things were true during my homelessness, but no one ever asked me what my favorite book was. What my relationship was like with my mom. What kind of music did I listen to? They don’t put those kinds of questions on intake assessment forms. I got asked a lot if I had a drug problem. I got asked if I was mentally ill and if I took medication, but not one time did anyone ask about my hopes, dreams, passions, or skills.
Homelessness is a moment in time for most of us. It is a temporary event. It is not a defining characteristic or personality trait. We are not “The Homeless”. We are human beings presently experiencing a traumatic life event. We are not the event. We are so much more than this highly visible moment in time. We are siblings and parents, grandparents, artists, teachers, philosophers, appreciators, and lovers of life. Our hopes; our longings, are identical to yours. As are our struggles. There is no division, no difference, save where we lay our heads. We are the same.
What do you want people to know about you? How would you most like to be thought of or known? As the full human being that you are, with your many talents and passions, your beautiful attributes, hopes, and dreams…or as the sum of your deficits; the things you struggle with the most?
We get to choose how we view and think about each other. No matter what your situation, I choose to see you first and foremost as a beautiful human being. I choose to see you as all of the things you will never find on an intake assessment.
Shawn Morrissey is vice president of Advocacy for Union Station Homeless Services. Headquartered in Pasadena, Union Station is committed to providing permanent solutions to end homelessness and rebuild lives.