Charli XCX Weighs the Pros and Cons of Motherhood

Ahead of the June release of her next studio album, Brat, Charli XCX temporarily shed her feckless wild-child persona to ponder her future as a mother. In a new wide-ranging interview with Rolling Stone out Thursday, the electronic-pop star put aside her musical ambitions for a moment to consider whether or not she could realistically bring a child into this world. After her engagement to George Daniel of the 1975 in November, the possibility became a more tangible reality for both her and her fiancé. But the 31-year-old can’t quite put her finger on what’s driving her interest in the pursuit of motherhood and certainly doesn’t “want to conform to centuries of indoctrination.”

“Am I less of a woman if I don’t have a kid? Will I feel like I’ve missed out on my purpose in life? I know we’re not supposed to say that, but it’s this biological and social programming,” she said, noting that at one point or another she and Daniel will “have to make the decision … because we have a clock.”

But Charli’s curiosity about childbearing isn’t secluded to her personal life: It’s also the inspiration behind Brat’s penultimate track, “I think about it all the time.” As a touring artist arguably at the height of her solo career, she’s hyperaware that trying to get pregnant would require a hefty load of logistical planning. “My circumstance involves me making a decision and being like, ‘I’m gonna come off my birth control. I’m not gonna tour. I’m going to see what George wants to do, and then we’re gonna try for a baby,’” she said. “[But] I feel like a kid; I don’t feel like I can make that decision.”

“There’s a lot of pressure on women not to talk about that stuff super openly, especially not in pop music or in music generally; we’re supposed to be sexy and free and fun and wild,” Charli continued. At the very least, while the self-proclaimed Brat and her fiancé make a private decision for the future of their family, I feel very lucky indeed to have both the “sexy and free and fun and wild” Charli and the honest, conflicted Charli in the public eye at the same time.

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