The Suzuki Monica

Feeling pulled apart by horses—Radiohead had a song about this. The first version was better, with loud rock guitars and jagged, distinctive riffs. That version they recorded for In Rainmen or whatever it was called was terrible—all reverbed drums and even more reverb on the records. I think they retitled it “Reckoner”…? This is what’s been on the mind the last couple of days. Nothing about the movie. Nothing about “The Couch.” Nothing about the layering of the New York segment. “But you still have to send Jake those images of the opacity layers and filters, he was asking about that…” Both of us said these exact words to each other in the last week, so distracted and overwhelmed by other work that we’re procrastinating for each other.

Luckily Da Boss is just as scatterbrained as me, and while he was recording even more sound for the movie (is this a fucking album? How many different versions of “Come Drink With Me” or “Odeon” do we need?), I was tickling strangers with my feathers on the bus—because when I’m bored, I get antsy, and when I get antsy, I start harassing people. I won’t apologize. Give me a dollar, bitch.

“You know, people are actually reading this column of yours, Monica. I’ve had people come up to me hours after publication telling me this or that that you said, and I have to remember that you’re in here with me…” I waited for the attack… and there was none… “Well, better than some journalist from New York. Whatever—there aren’t even any real publications covering what we’re doing anymore. Movies, music, books—Christ, forget it. Twentieth century bullshit. I don’t want to know what the supreme art form of the 21st century will be. I already know I want no part in it.” Jesus, whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch.

Nicky Otis Complainer Smith. I mean really… what more could you ask for? He’s got a crew, actors, me, projects in the works and two feature films and 30 shorts under his belt. I have to remind him that he’s been an active filmmaker for nearly 20 years. “More than that; more like 21 years already, but I wouldn’t show anything from before 2006 even if I could find it. I have one movie from 2004 on a DVD called Full Themed Attraction that I could maybe pull out as a surprise at a screening… actually that’s not a bad idea…” And then he was digging in the boxes and crates in his cavernous and mostly non-functioning house with. This is where I work: where nothing works. If one of us vanished, SATUR-19 would never see the light of day. The only person who knows how it’s supposed to be ultimately is Da Boss, and I’m the only one familiar enough with his shorthand (and his personality) to shepherd it into existence.

“This movie will be made in the editing room, more than any other I’ve done up to this point…” Yeah, made by me. Maybe I should ask for a co-directing credit… we’re too deep in now for him to even consider firing me… you know, hens have fun sometimes; we really do.

—Follow Monica Quibbits on Twitter: @MonicaQuibbits