I’ve fallen in love but I can’t stand her work
DEAR DEIDRE: All my relationships have been with men up until now, and I’m feeling very confused about why I like her so much – and jealous of the men she sleeps with for money.
I’m female and 28 and she’s 30. We met last year at a local music festival, queuing for the loos.
She was so funny and sharp and we hit it off immediately, exchanging numbers.
Over the next few months we became really close friends.
One night, she came round to mine for drinks and to watch a film, and we both had too much to drink.
I said she should stay over. Somehow, we ended up kissing and I was so turned on that I invited her into my bed.
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We slept together – my first time with a woman – and it was amazing. She said she didn’t normally like women either, but had developed feelings for me.
However, the next morning, she said she had to tell me something. She confessed that she was an escort.
Before that, she’d been vague about her job, saying she did shift work in bars.
She wants to get out of it and get a proper job, but keeps being sucked back in by the money.
I’m not judgemental, but I hate to think about her sleeping with men.
We both keep saying we should stay friends, but every time we go out, we end up in bed together.
I’m so confused about my feelings and sexuality, and don’t know how to cope.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Sometimes, close friendships can become sexual. We can be very drawn to people of the same sex, even if we’ve previously considered ourselves straight – and vice versa.
It’s not their gender that attracts us, but their unique personality. Or perhaps she’s awakened something in you that you weren’t aware of.
If you’re confused about this, then it might help to talk to someone.
Contact LGBT (lgbt.foundation, tel: 0345 3 30 30 30) and read my support packs, Gay Support and Bisexual Questions for more information.
As for her job, it’s natural to feel uneasy about this. It sounds like she does want to stop, so perhaps you could encourage her to find other work or training.