I begged strangers on the internet to help me become a single mum & got £13k – I couldn’t afford it on my nursery salary
A WOMAN who only had a 15 per cent chance of conceiving had a sperm donor baby – after strangers donated £13k for her to undergo IVF.
Gem Baker, 38, had always dreamed of being a mum but hadn’t met the right man to start a family with.
After being diagnosed with endometriosis she was told she only had a 35 per cent chance of conceiving and started looking into IVF.
Gem lost four stone to try and increase her chances but at her fertility MOT she was told she had a low egg count and just a 15 per cent chance of conceiving.
She still wanted to give it a try and raised £13k through GoFundMe and funded the extra £4.5k through her savings and with help from her family.
After her second round of IVF, Gem found out she was expecting and became a single mum by choice when she welcomed her little girl, Clover-Iris, now 11 months, in June 2023.
Gem, a nursery manager, from Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, said: “I always wanted to be a mum.
“I hadn’t found the right person.
“My chances were slim.
“I didn’t have the biological clock to wait to find the perfect man.
“Being a mum is exactly what I dreamt and more.
“I feel like she’s always been here.”
Gem had struggled with painful periods all her life and noticed they were even worse when she came off the pill.
After several GP appointments she was diagnosed with endometriosis following a diagnostic laparoscopy in May 2017.
Gem had eight procedures in November 2018 to remove the endometriosis.
She start to look into IVF after she recovered but was shocked by the cost of it.
She said: “I hit a brick wall. You don’t realise how much money it costs until you look into it all.
“It’s soul destroying.”
Gem’s friend, Jen Glikofridis, 37, personal assistant for a solicitor, suggested she set up a fundraising page to help pay for it and she agreed after being apprehensive at first.
She said: “It just went mental.”
Gem managed to raise £13k in total, was given £3k from her dad, Gary, 65, a construction contractor, and used £1.5k of her savings to pay for the IVF.
She also changed up her lifestyle to go from 15st 2lbs to 10st 10lbs – and a size 16 to a size eight – to put herself in the best position to conceive.
Gem said: “I paid a set amount for two rounds.
“I wasn’t incredibly fussy [with sperm donors].
I have got a thing for redhead guys – and managed to get one.
“It said a bit about his life. He is a baker, does charity work.
“He sounded grounded.
“I feel like he’s a skinny man with curly red hair and a bit geeky.
“That’s what I visualise.”
She finally started her first round of IVF in August 2021 – after delays due to the pandemic.
Sadly none of her eggs fertilised after the first round and doctors found an infection on her right fallopian tube.
They realised it was too damaged and removed it in May 2022.
How does IVF work?
In vitro fertilisation (IVF) is one of several techniques available to help people with fertility problems have a baby.
IVF involves 6 main stages:
Suppressing your natural cycle – your menstrual cycle is suppressed with medicine
Helping your ovaries produce extra eggs – medicine is used to encourage your ovaries to produce more than 1 egg at a time
Monitoring your progress and maturing your eggs – an ultrasound scan is carried out to check the development of the eggs, and medicine is used to help them mature
Collecting the eggs – a needle is inserted through your vagina and into your ovaries to remove the eggs
Fertilising the eggs – the eggs are mixed with the sperm for a few days to allow them to be fertilised
Transferring the embryo(s) – 1 or 2 fertilised eggs (embryos) are placed into your womb
The success rate of IVF depends on the age of the woman having treatment, as well as the cause of the infertility.
IVF can be carried out using your eggs and your partner’s sperm, or eggs and sperm from donors.
Some people are eligible for IVF on the NHS while others opt to undergo IVF privately.
If you’re eligible, the NHS will cover the costs of your IVF treatment and you could be entitled to up to three cycles, depending on your age.
Unfortunately if you’re not successful and you’re not eligible for any more treatment on the NHS you will either have to pay for treatment.
Some clinics allow you to chose your sperm donor from a database, however the donor will have no legal responsibilities to any children born with their sperm.
To find out more visit NHS.UK
After recovering, Gem went for her second round in September 2022 and got just one egg.
But eight days later she took a pregnancy test and it was positive.
She said: “I was in disbelief.
“I loved being pregnant.”
Gem said her family couldn’t have been more supportive.
She was induced and gave birth to Clover-Iris on June 18, 2023, weighing 7lbs 8oz.
Gem said: “I just went ‘OMG’ – she looks like me and my dad.
“She was the spitting image of me as a baby.”
Now Clover-Iris is 11 months old and is a “hilarious” toddler.
Gem said: “She’s incredible and hilarious.
“She’s very inquisitive and very clever – that must be her dad’s brain.
“She’s doing something new every day.”